A single girl in a showbiz world

Saturday 31 January
The sick-days can't last forever, so I made it in to do my column. Got sympathy because I went in without make-up in ugly clothes (normally I dress 'showbiz glamour')
I also didnt eat anything until lunchtime and that is rare for me because I am normally snacking ALL day on a Saturday because of the column deadline stress.
Saw I had lots of emails while I was away. One from NME MAN!! Inviting me to meet his friends on Saturday night. OMG! Meeting friends means he must like me a bit. I had one ex who was too embarrassed to let me meet his mates (loser), and every time I met up with the ex it was just the two of us.
But I decided to decline the NME mans invite because I still wasn't feeling properly healthy and I needed another night without alcohol after Thursday nights champagne quaffing!
Also, I need to spend this weekend working on my job exit strategy because I cant stand giving my life to the paper any more.
So the eds were nice to me in the morning, when I was pale and weak and not eating. But I went downstairs for a sandwich and a chocolate bar and thats when I lost integrity. I got my column written ok, but gradually I think colour must have come back into my face. When Ii asked the deputy editor if I could leave coz i was feeling sick, he shouted at me. How horrible!! (That just inspires me to work even harder on an exit strategy).
I seriously think it had something to do with the bitch that sits opposite me who is friends with all the editors coz she buys their drugs. She had a sickness bug where she couldnt eat, so she must have told the editors i wasnt sick coz i was eating. She should mind her own business!!
Called my mum and told her how rude my editor was. She suggested going in to the office and putting my head on the desk until they felt sorry for me.
She passed the phone to my sister, who told me she had just bought a 380quid Dolce and Gabbana handbag from Bicester dicount shopping village. I was like, yeah - whats the real price? But apparently it was down from 700plus quid! She wanted to but it coz she still had 200 quid left over from Xmas. And I have to spend my 200 quid on a laptop to do job exit strategy on (how depressing). But thats why I have a job and she has a boyfriend...
Finally left the office at 630 - thats just an hour earlier than when we normally leave on a Saturday if we're not on the 11pm late shift. But saying that, it did make a difference as it meant I was home by 730 when i usually get home at 830 on a saturday. Getting home at 830 on saturday is so depressing as it feels like my evening is over.
Anyway, got home and had some nice prawns and noodles from M&S followed by some peaches and plums covered in melted white chocolate. Delicious! Snacked on a few yoghurt coated raisins from the sushi place too (its nice to sit at home and chill with some snack items)
Watched some Jonathan Creek on UKTV Gold and did some reading of magazines while MTV Base was in the background (love the R and
And then tried to organise the fashion designer whose book I was going to write because he has cancelled our meeting tomorrow. So stupid - I was sacrificing a lot for him and now I dont want to. If we dont rearrange the meeting, Im going to spend the time on my own book. After all, I havent told any publishers or agents about it and I have told the agents about my own.
Men-wise, apart from NME contact, I facebooked CJ (Nick Jones's nephew). Added him as a friend and he added me back. Ball's in his court now to ask me out - men like to feel they are wanted, according to The Rules. But i might kick him into doing it soon by writing on a mutual friend's wall - we have two facebook friends in common. Good start.

Friday 30 January
I called in sick today, which is something I rarely do. I have only done it once since I started my current job two years ago and NEVER did it in any previous jobs!
I was so nervous about doing it, it wasnt relaxing at all. I woke up at 8, worrying how to do it.
Started off by texting the news editor, and then kept checking my phone every 5 mins t see if he replied. That went on for almost an hour before I decided to bite the bullet and ring up the newsdesk secretary. She was lovely about it. Then i texted the showbiz editor and by that time it was 1030am so I wasnt sure whether to get up or not. In the end, I set my alarm for another hour (1130) and had some more kip.
Had a banana and then ran to the gym, did nearly an hours workout and ran home (about 1hr 15mins in total)
Had a healthy lunch but then it wasnt a very relaxing sick day as I decided to get some stories for my job and also to do some admin (like booking a birthday party for the BBC presenter Tom Deacon)
Took a break in the afternoon to treat myself to some new running gear (may as well make the most of my day off).
But then when I got home I did half an hours more work and then had a healthy tea.
Did some more work, and watched Eastenders but by this time I was in the mood to treat myself on my day off. Was very indulgent and went to Asda across the road to buy some Fondant Fancy cakes - ate three (oops). But dont regret it at all because they were DELICIOUS.
Eventually got my work done at midnight. Was a bit pissed off I had worked all day like usual but the morning lie in and sleep (even if it was just an hour after the sick day faffing) made me feel more human. And no alcohol either...

Thursday 29 January
I couldnt sleep at all, beating myself up about not geting lily's brother last night. So by the time I got in the office, I was an emotional wreck. My brain doesnt work when I dont sleep.
When I explained the nights happenings to the news editor, my voice cracked with emotion. So after going through the motions of doing work, he let me leave at midday. I felt FREE!
I went to the posh sushi place by my office and bought some healthy salmon and tuna for later that day. And then went home to sleep...
However, sleeping in the afternoon is not easy. I only managed an hour before my brain got active again. I started thinking about parties I had to attend that evening. And worked on my home computer to find out where they all were and who was going.
Managed to get an hours work done on the fashion designers book before meeting F and her business partner Lu to head to parties.
The first one was rubbish - we only went so F could get revenge on an ex boyfriend. Which she doesnt need to demean herself doing, to be honest.
But i managed to persuade her to leave after about 45 mins, and we went to a posh party in the penthouse f The Westbury hotel in Mayfair.
I cahtted to the operations manager of the hotel, the vents planner as well as the manager of Prada on bond street. ThenI met the nephew of Londons members club king Nick Jones and had a bit of champagne and a few canapes.
Picked up a goody bag containing posh charbonnard and walker chocs so went down to the hotel bar for moere champagne and canapes and started eating the chocs. UIt was divine.
We shared a bottle of champagne but then the operatuions manager sent us anotyher glass each. I was well tiddly.
We put the world to rights - three girls chatting over champagne and chocs on London's best designer shopping street. This is the life!
Why oh why cant i have more moments like this? Most of my time is spent WORKING. Moments like this make me wonder what is the point. Happiness is possible - I need to treat myself to it more often.
Oh and maybe i stil hjave it with men. Ed, the a and r man texted. But i think it was work related as he just asked ' how you feeling' and never replied to the one i sent back. And no kisses...
BUT the young nephew of Nick Jones was proper keen on me, trying to ask me out for dinner that night and saying i should facebook him. He really is a bit too young for me, but he;s rich enough. Even tho he has the blonde public school hair going on, and his mate had a coat with a real fur collar, i can change his public school preppy look if he gives me his credit card!

Weds 28 February
Today I woke up at 6am and fell into bed about 3am and spent all of those 21 hours WORKING!! My brain is scrambled.
At 6am I started work on my column for Who's Jack magazine. I love doing it because it is creative freedom rather than the stupid newspaper I work for. But I always think long and hard about what I am going to write because I only get one column a month and I am FULL of creative juices that have been locked away inside me while I conform to the stupid newspaper I work at.
Anyway, I got it done before lunchtime when I went to meet a contact for lunch in town.
Before that I even managed to file a few newspaper stories so they thought i was working...
After lunch I met up with the newspaper website team, who want me to work on that. I think that was one of the best parts of my day as I love internet stuff.
Did a tiny bit more work planning what events i was going to work at that eveing. (Lily Allen's gig at KOKO in Camden0
Left the office at 4pm to get to the BBC to film the TV show I normally do ion Mondays. That was another higlight of my day as they are actually nice to me.
Then I went shoping to find a col outfit to wear to the gig. While I was in the shopping mall, I saw a tesco and decided to get champagne to perk me up (I was feeling so low)
Drank the champagne (a half bottle) as i was getting ready and jumped in a txi to Camden. Met a colleague, who was wroking with me, grabbed our after-party bands and watched the gig trying to avoid all the daily newspaper journalist leeches.
ried to find a cab to after party but couldnt so had to walk to tube and 10 mins after tube in the rain.
Made it to the after party to see lots of daily leeches so whatever story we got would not have saved until weekend.
And then we had a vague moment of high when we saw Lily Allen's bro do something he shouldnt have done in the venue's toilets. My colleague had a video bag -it could have been front page stuff.
But the stupid girl - a trainee - said she didnt feel comfortable doing it. I am too well known so couldnt do it myself. And we wasted the opportunity.
By the time we stopped faffing around it was 2am! Then she started apologising and I just wanted to get a taxi booked, which I did, and then had to travel home.
Did meet onecute man - ed, who is an a and r man. He is well gorgeous and intelligent (he went to oxford) and came up to talk to me at the party. Sadly he did it when i was mid lily allen/ lily's bro chase so I wasnt concentrating. But he was gorgeous and nice and it makes me wonder if he is a 'potential'...NME man has been well quiet recently

Tuesday 27 January
A girl cant go through life alone (even me) so I reached out to ask for help with work today. I did something v brave - gave a speech at city university's journalism school.
I am fed up with the people I see out and about that try to give me stories. I dont trust any of them so it was time for me to find fresh blood.
So I went to City University and was faced with a room full of keen students (thank god people turned up!)
I started off by bribing people with chocolate. And then i goofed my way through a speech that I had rehearsed, (In retrospect I should have talked openly and freely like the editor of Whos Jack magazine because she came across much more naturally)
Thats a note for future public speaking - RELAX!
But I got through the talk and signed up lots of students. No fit ones - which I was secretly hoping for - but at least we can keep it professional.
Health (and training-wise) the day started good and ended good. I went for a swim in the morning - 80 lengths. But then I had cod and chips and peas for lunch and a chocolate cake mid afternoon. Righted it in evening when I went to an awards ceremony reception and resisted all champagne and canpaes and had two nectarines and low calorie jelly when I got home.
I always feel more positive and more energetic when I dont drink.
Awards ceremony was a bit of a washout but I made a few contacts. The organisers promise the earth and then when you get there the only person is Vanessa Feltz. Across town, someone told me Paris Hilton was 'expected' at a party. Surprise surprise she didnt show up. But I made contacts because I dont give up. Lots of other journalists hang out with each other and only talk to each other and the odd celeb. I NEVER talk to other journalists, just go round room making as many contacts as poss. The other journalists hate me - they are so jealous.
I'm hot and Im going to find a hot man or contacts that can introduce me to a hot man and they are going to be boring, fat and borderline alcoholics. Losers!
Gonna tell my new keen students never to talk to journlaists either. Good networking = Good gossip

NMonday 26 January
I went through most of the day without talking to ANYONE at all. And as a result I feel much calmer. I think I give myself to others too easily. I'm always trying to please. It's DRAINING!

The bad bits of the day were when people texted me on work related matters. Everyone works on Mondays and they call me chasing payment, expecting me to be on it. I wish I had a mobile that could screen my calls into work andnon-work because it is so depressing when I have to think about work on Mondays when I only get out the office at 11pm on Saturday night

But the day was mostly great. Slept til about 9am and then got up for my 12 mile run. Felt so healthy after! Had a healthy lunch of tuna and salad( and kept up the good work at supper time with an egg salad)

Ventured out the house in the afternoon to elephant and castle to get some hair extensions. It was so un-glam - i Loved it. Put on a hoody and UGG boots and had a browse of clothes in the ghetto and got the bus back home.

In the evning watched paul mckenna i can make you thin on tv. He said to avoid cravings i should think of something disgusting mixed with my favourite fod and squeeze my thumb and middle finger together, Then every time i feel like chocolate (my fave food) squeeze the middle finger together.

Hope it works - need something to keep me on marathon schedule!

Sunday 25 Feb
I told best mate F about NME man coming back in a text and she told me she had a text from one of her ex's on her birthday telling her how he was in Brighton and how he'd been to a really cool art gallery and how he was generally just cool.
No happy birthday or anything - v strange.
I don;t think F should have replied, but she did with a biting message. She was like 'I'm too busy with the art gallery I part-own to go to Brighton, even though my brother lives in Brighton. My old mum visited Brighton the other day - the oldies love Brighton."
Go F! We are way cooler than any man! Why can't our ex's go away and disappear? And if they come back, they need to woo us back in a gentlemanly style not show off and get arrogant.

Sunday 25 January
Feel very PROUD of myself as I finished the synopsis from 8am - 10am and met the designer at 11. We had a very productive brainstorming session and are on track to get a synospis ready. It will have a sexy design and snappy writing and will generally be irresistible.
The designer, W, seemed to like what I had done and he had lots of things to add. He's worked with so many celebs - Beyonce, Victoria and David Beckham, Prince, Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake are just a few people who have worn his clothes or received his styling advice.
We spent three hours together at his office in Brick Lane, listening to the radio while we got our ideas together. The office was absolutely freezing but I was glad of that as it kept me awake! I was also prepared, suspecting I would feel sleepy, so I took a can of red bull in my lap top bag.
The designer W and I are going to parties together to get more detail and to update the book with fresh fashion. He knows lots of cool people, so I think writing his book could help me with my showbiz day job.
After the meeting, there was no rest for the wicked. I figured I am tired so may as well keep going. I went grocery shopping as have had no time to get anything in the past couple of days. Got all healthy stuff like tuna, salad, nectarines, banana and low-cal jelly. (And some Pepsi Max - not so healthy)
Dropped the shopping at home and got changed into my exercise gear. Went for an hours run!!
Then had a lovely shower and ate tuna rice and salad. Planned to lie on the sofa, but then I looked at my floor and thought it needed hoovering. So I hoovered the whole house while I was up. Then I did some laundry and put the laundry that was hanging up back in my cupboard.
Sat back down again and had a banana, nectarine, plum and some low-cal jelly. But my mind wouldnt rest so i got up again and fully cleaned the bathroom, including sinks bath and toilet. Did the kitchen surfaces and then hung up the wet laundry.
Finally sat down about 8ish and dealt with text messages a few friends had sent me.
Got one from NME man!! He said he was busy today - he'd just finished football - but wanted to know what I was doing during the week. The only day I am free is Tues, but hes not free then. There is a chance I will be free on friday (if I dont have to work late), so I suggested that. I dont know why as last time wasnt even that great but its nice to be wanted. And NME man is fit (he won at football). Quite looking forward to Fri.
Then started blogging (as I have been rubbish for ages)
But now I am going to bed as I have to fit in a long run tomorrow as part of marathon training. Probably 12 miles, which I hope to do in 2 hours or less.
Now going to bed before I fall down and die at my computer. I have no energy at all and ache all over...

Saturday 24 January
After all that comfort eating, I decided to get up early and do a half hour run. Have a marathon to do in 12 weeks, after all.
Got into work feeling super positive after my run but then it was ruined when the editors hated ALL my stories. So back to comfort eating - egg sandwich and a Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate bar BEFORE lunch. DOH!
I am properly being bullied. Its not just that they dont like my stories but they are sabotaging me in terms of contacts.
Two things
(1) Mildly irritating: A contact had an amazing story about Boy George, that should have gone in the paper. However, this contact also gives stories to other people at my newspaper and my editors didnt put the story in the paper as a message to the contact not to deal with me.
(2) VERY irritating: I had a story about a Hollywood actress modelling for Mont Blanc jewellery. It was on p35 - after the centre spread - so not a massive deal. The PR called me up panicking, because the Mont Blanc campaign isnt released until Feb. They said if I pulled the story they will invite me to The oscars as their guests and give me access to other Hollywood stars like Hilary Swank and Eva Longoria. I thought that was a great deal as my story was on p35 and an interview with Hilary or Eva could be front page! But my editors wouldnt go for it, saying I was being bribed. In reality, they were just jealous they hadnt been offered the trip. It was one news editor in particular, who is a big bully. When the Oscars happen, he will shout at me for not having anything and then I will laugh in his face. Idiot.
Whats worse is I have ruined my relationship with the Mont Blanc PR because they thought I had agreed to the trip. And they thought I was unwilling to compromise and would find it difficult working with me in the future. Arrrgh!!
Even worse is that it is my turn for the late shift in the office. So I stay until 11pm, (after getting in to the office at 9am not to mention by 630am run preceeded by getting to bed last night at 2ish)
So I got my work done until first deadline, briefly went down the pub with a colleague for one drink and a plate of chips (chip addiction again).
And then I started work (at about 9pm) on the fashion designer's synopsis. I need to finish it before a meeting at 11am in Brick Lane tomorrow.
So no sleep for me as I got a taxi home to get back at 1120pm. Two hours writing a synopsis and chapter plan (while I did have a bit more vodka) and fell into bed at 2am.

Friday 23 January
After waking up at 430am, I spent the whole day feeling like I was going to collapse or cry at any minute. So I comfort ate lots. Had breakfast and then when I got to the office I had a big bag of crisps. Had a salmon salad for lunch but then a cake in the afternoon and a sandwich in the car on the way to a tv show. I had crisps and chocolate before the show to stay awake otherwise I would have died (the show started at 11pm and I had been up since the early hours).
The day had true highs and lows.
The lows were crashing - I got told I was the worst writer ever at my paper when some copy I wrote about Amy Winehouse was rejected. Its because im not sleeping as I am normally a good writer. That got me paranoid that what i had emailed my literary agent was rubbish..
Another low was I couldnt go to best F's actual birthday drinks (she had a massive party already, the day before the chocolate hotel). Instead, I had to go to Celebrity Big Brother Big Mouth. F asked me to join her when I finished but I was still at the TV studio in Elstree at 1230am and I had a massive headache because I had been awake for so long. Felt like the worst friend in the world.
But there were some true highs. I was paid to be on the TV show Big Brother's Big Mouth and I performed so well on it. The Channel 4 presenter Davinia Taylor said I was 'hot' - Lesbian loving?? Then avtor Verne Troyer, who played Mini Me in Austin Powers chatted me up on air.
And finally rapper Coolio told me after the show: "Girl, you have big arse lips - wanna come party with me?"
I said I couldnt because I knew he had to do a press conference after and that started at 1230am and wouldnt be over til 1am and then I would have an hours journey home and have to get up at 7am for work on Saturday. But he wouldnt take no for an answer. He tried to get in my car! He batted back his minder, telling her I was his cousin, and begged me to party. Very flattering. As I drove home in the car, I thought more about it (despite my headache). Then I kicked myself - I should have done it and wrote about it. I could have got up later the next day. DAMMMIT. I need a celeb lover. Or any lover would do...

Thursday 22 January
Weird day as I got up early in the morning to think and pray about ways to get out of my job. I have two options for books - one about me and one about a celebrity fashion stylist - so I wrote a pros and cons list for each option. And after about an hour, I resolved to start off by trying to do both. The mantra of the morning was 'Whatever will be will be"' (until I physically crack up and have to ditch one)
I resolved to start writing a synopsis for the designer's book. Got into the office and was super productive - emailing the designer what we needed to do before our next meeting.
And then I called the literary agent from the previous night to get her advice. She asked me to flesh out some of the chapters for my own book. ASAP. HELP!
So I didnt do much work for my day job in the afternoon and started the chapter. And then I didnt go to any parties after work and went straight home to work on the chapter. I stayed up until 1230am and got up at 430am to finish it off. It was really dificult, because i felt under pressure to get it right and I wasnt as creative with my language as I could have been. I finished it and emailed it to the agent, but I am concerned it is not good enough. The worst thing is, I am not sure if I am concerned because it is genuinely rubbish or just my brain is mashed up due to lack of sleep.

Weds 21 January
I did one thing tonight that makes me proud. I blagged my way into the VIP area where the book agent and tito jackson were drinking champagne while the rest of the journalists were drinking warm red and white wine in the press drinks in the foyer.
The moral was never give up until you are in the best place. I could just sense the journalists drinks were boring!
So I made it my mission to find out where tito was.
Then I blagged my way in to the small vip room with my sister by standing on the bouncers toe in his high heel boots and running in while he was doubled over in pain. I think he was even in too much pain to come chasing after me!
Not sure if the book agent saw my blag or not but hope so as she would have been impressed.
And at least i got champagne for my efforts - way better than warm wine.

Wednesday 22 January

Today in the office was a bit of a wash-out. As the showbiz editor and the tv editor weren't there, I decided to do what I wanted to do for a change.
Top of my list was working out what I was going to have as an escape route for the job i have at the moment. I dont actually mind what I do hanging out with celebs and stuff, but I do not like hardly anyone that work in my office.
So Im thinking writing a crazy book based on my weird life? Another option is writing a book about a celeb stylist.
I think both could sell well, so Im a bit confused...
Wrote a big list with pros and cons to both, but never actually finished it because I had a brainwave halfway through.
That happened when I was thinking about the exact format for books about me and my life. I had a great idea and so I emailed a book agent straight away.
And then I got busy with work phone calls.
But I did get a phone call from the book agent, who said the idea about me was an option. She asked what I was doing for the rest of the week and it turned out we were going to the same party that night.
I spent rest of the afternoon feeling nervous - I wanted to get stories for my paper but I didnt want to mess up in front of agent.
In the end, it worked out ok. I met Tito Jackson, who the book agent was looking after, and asked him some bland qs that might make the paper but wouldnt embarrass the agent. And then i got out of the situation asap. I just felt the agent was there to hang with tito jackson, not me, and I would rather have 1-on-1 time with her another time.
In a way, I know my attitude should be more confident - I am a star or I need to believe I am to get my book to sell. But I just cant afford to mess up at this stage.
And another stress to the night was I had my little sis down from hemel hempstead as I had promised to help her find a job.
So before the night started (i arranged to meet my sis at 630) I went into a posh cafe, Konditor and Cook, and sat on my own for 15 mins with a big slice of chocolate cake.
And then I was a bit stressed at the end of the night, so I got some carrot cake on the way home. Before I knew it I had eaten all of that (I meant to buy it to make myself happy and save it til breakfast the next morning - sometimes just buying it makes me happy)
At least I ran 3 miles this morning. And my alcohol intake was just 1 glass of wine, max, which is pretty good considering I didnt drink last night, had a tiny bit of cava on monday and nothing at all on Sunday.
Rest day for exercise tomorrow so need to eat less. F has invite me to dinner at a restauarnat called The Real Greek but I might sack it off and have a plain salad at home. Not in the mood for more shit food. Would be nice to see F, but there will be another time

Tuesday 21 January
I think I am addicted to chips. I has them twice today. Once at lunch with a salad when I met some marketing guys from red bull. And then in the evening with my neighbour Alex when we went to KFC.
My day was v stressful work wise as I got in to see an email from the news editor saying last weeks paper was rubbish and we all needed to step up our game. The email said if we wanted to keep spending expenses and wining and dining contacts then we had to get stories. It hit a nerve, after I spent so much money at Nobu on Thursday (with my sister).
So I filed my expenses quickly. Then sorted out payments for everyone that was chasing me. Then tried to sort out holiday dates. My parents had already booked a cruise for March back in October but becausue of hols rules, I cant request hols until the new calendar year. And I couldnt do it last week coz I was off. (And I am now slightly worried I wont get the holiday becoz the showbiz editor is on jury service the week before...)
Then I thought of stories and emailed ideas to my editors.
Went to meet Red Bull for lunch. Came up with some good ideas for travel features. And mended bridges that I burned by being a bit of a diva in Australia. (I wansnt that bad bit did moan slightly about having to hang out in groups every night).
After lunch, I got my boots re-heeled, sorted out my showreel, called up a few people to ask about interviews, tried to blag some Serato DJ decks and records, tried to blag some asos.com clothes, emailed my mortgage adviosor and emailed a girl about a liam gallagher story. (Thats a long story about an Oasis groupie, who has shagged Liam, who I want to get to tell her tale). Then I tried to work on a story with a girl from Grazia magazine and arrange a bike delivery of a dvd to the showbiz editor (who left the office early). And finally I watched Barack Obama's inauguration on the TV. When people ask me what I was doing on inauguartio day, I can say i was doing LOTS of admin in my office. (is that good or bad? Probably bad, but quite cool to be in a newspaper office)
Walked home from work (to be marginallly healthy) and met up with my neighbour Alex. We havent seen each other since November so I schedules it in my diary to book a night off work. I wanted to meet up with him on a work night becasue it is an effort making conversation with him. And he likes eating unhealthy food, which I dont mind doing during the week but would rather eat healthy at my weekends.
KFC was delicious though and we watched Slumdog Millioanire on DVD. Proper relaxing.
The only bad point was Alex asked when I wanted to meet up again. And I realised I was not free for ages and I dont think I can afford to book time out of my schedule like that again. Especially when I also want to meet my old housemate Jenny Love again.
Too many friends, too little time. Not to mention NME man, who I've been too busy to contact.

Monday 19 January
Got up at 9 and was out the house by 930am for my run. Did 12 miles (the second half of the london half marathon) and was back to my house about 1230pm.
Showered, and had a few phonecalls and then made myself some pasta for lunch.
And then realised the phonecalls were more important than I thought.
Everyone was calling to tell me I was on p3 of The Sun newspaper. Kelly OSbourne had been arrested and my quotes were in the Sun newspaper. Normally the sun only has topless girls on p3 so I thought it was an achievement to be on p3 without exposing my breasts.
Had an hour of organising myself - sorting out my showreel and projects for the week and then went to Oxford Circus to get my eyebrows threaded. Normally I go to a quick walk-in bar in House of Fraser because I dont have time to keep appointments. But there was a queue of 6 people in front of me (thats not what I call walk-in). So I went to John Lewis department store next door. They had a walk in place too but it was 17quid! I debated it for a minute but my eyebrows were in a state so I had no excuse. I had to go on the BBC show that day!
BBC show went well (althoiugh I was about 10mins late getting there because of eyebrows). But I wasted time and ruined my healthy weekend by eating cake and cava after the show to commemorate a camera woman's last day. Normally at the weekends I try to have two days without alcohol. And I had been for a run that day so was trying to be good.
But champagne and birthday cake is my favourite combo in the whole world. (Even above champagne / rose and fish and chips). So I had to...
Got home an hour later than planned and had a healthy double boiled egg salad with one piece of dried toast, followed by a pear and raisins.
Went to bed hungry (but happy that I was being slightly good save the cava lapse).
Also went to bed happy becasue more people in the world found out about my Kelly Osbourne thing. It was all over the US gossip websites PerezHilton.com, usmagazine.com and people.com. And there were forums, where the majority of readers had supported me (I wrote some comments myself, of course). The free london paper, londonlite, had also written about it so I cut that out the paper and saved all the internet sites on my computing. Good for the memoirs.. Hopefully one day I'll meet a man, have children and grandchildren and tell them all about it.
And im hoping the man I meet will be a celeb.
No NME man news today

Sunday 18 January
I had to get up at 830am (and wake up NME man) because I promised to meet someone in Finchley at 10am. Im writing an autobiography for this someone (hes a fashion designer) and so it was quite important.
I had a shower and NME man and I left for the bus stop together. I was so tired, I was shaking. Two nights of Kate Moss's parties and then a night of romance that ended at 247am.
At the newsagents by the bus stop, I bought the papers and some steak mccoys crisps and a white chocolate milky bar (I know NME man is veggie but the steak crisps are a brilliant hangover cure)
Got to Finchley at 10am and I was so annoyed because the fashion designer wasnt at his house, where we were going to meet. Finally he met me in a cafe down the road, but it made me qs if I want to write the autobiography. I can spend the time he is messing me around doing something for myself.
So I got the meeting done quickly and I wasnt very focussed. I got a bit out of it but it was a bit of a disaster. I have a lot to think about with this autobiography.
Took me an hour to get home, during which I read the papers. Im gonna think about the autobiography thing later in the week.
As soon as I got home, I had to go for a 10k run. I want to get a long run done tomorrow and I know I wont get round unless I do something to ease the weeks indulgences today.
So did an hours run, showered, ate some salad and tuna and then got ready to go out again. I had to cover a film premiere for my BBc show and get some showbiz qs asked to Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet.
And then when I got back, I typed up my stuff in an email to the BBC and was working non stop til I went to bed at 2230. I was exhausted and hungry when I went to bed. (But happy I was hungry because it menat I was fit for a long run tomorrow)

NOTE: I WANT A CELEB BOYFRIEND. Meeting Leo at the revolutionary road premiere made me wonder what it would be like to date him or any other celeb. Would I be photographed on the red carpet like him? Would people give me clothes to wear? Would people do my hair and make up for me? YES THEY WOULD! So why am I working so hard at The Sunday Mirror when I could have much more by having a celeb boy!

(I texted NME man once in the evening asking how his day was and telling him how my meeting went. And no kisses in his text message - why???)

Saturday 17 January
I got into the office blagging to everyone about my night with Kate Moss. I expected I could write all about it, saying I was the only journalist INSIDE the house. But my editor said she could call Press Complaints Commission, because she hadnt invited me into her house. So i would have to write it from 'a spy says'..How fricking annoying. I wanted all the Sunday Mirror readers to know how great I was.
The other disappointing thing was that I thought I had a great place lined up for me and NME man. Its an all day brasserie in Soho, with a button saying 'more champagne' and a menu that is meant to cater for all tastes (even veggies like NME man)
But the menu was not amazing at all - I had smoked salmon and kale and he had a tart and we had a couple of dry cake things for desert. And the bill was 90 quid. The restaurant had no atmosphere either. Totally empty.
Another disappointment was that it was pouring with rain. So we had to have a drink after in a pub you could walk to. When we got there, they said they were closing in 4 mins. But we stayed there coz we didnt want to go out in the rain again. It wasnt v romantic when the lights came on full blast as we had just taken our first sip.
And then there was disappointment on my part when my tiredness caught up with me. NME man suggested going to a house party in Balham, but I just couldnt manage it so I suggested going back to mine and having our own party. He agreed (so that wasnt disappointing)
But then we couldnt find a taxi and it was hail-storming! we were soaked through before we found a taxi. (Fortunately we made the taxi driver put his heater on so we were dryish by the time we reached my house)
I put on my mini heater and poured us strong vodkas to warm us up. NME man turned on the football on Sky Plus and pointed out QPR won (his team) and Watford lost (the team my dad supports)
And then the night got better - we kissed and fooled around on the sofa and then moved to the bedroom....

Friday 16 January
The clipbopard man led us back to Kate's hallway. We gave our names again and we still werent on it. Some girl came to the door and demanded to know who we were. We gave her the fake names.
Out of nowhere, two big bodyguards came to the gates and stood in front of it.
"You're intruders!" She shouted at us. "We should call the police."
My heart sunk but I was confident she wouldnt because she wouldnt want the attention from the papers the front day. Imagine the headlines - police called to Kate's house.
So F and I called her bluff. F said: "You cant becausue I am calling the police first. And she did.
The door girl shouts: "Stop! I just need to check something inside the house."
She goes away and F and I stand there. Our two male friends, Jason and F's friend Adam, were led back to meet us. Divide and conquer strategy had conquered but what next?
The woman brings Kate Moss's boyf Jamie to the door and asks us if he recognises us. We smile and wave, hoping for the best but he says no.
The women threatens to call the police again. So we do the same thing again - F calls 118 118 directory enquiries and asks to be put through to St Johns Wood police station.
The woman panics again and says go. So we leg it down the street.
This time, the paparazzi want to take photos of us without asking as they are so impressed we blagged it into her house.
Our hearts are racing - we all need a drink to steady our nerves. So we find a viodka bar in Camden that has about 150 types of Vodka. Perfect - a strong martini to settle my nerves. Yes, it may have been 1am in the morning and I was due in the office at 7am the next day but I needed the vodka to help me sleep. And if I had a hangover, I figured the adrenalin would get me through it.
I was slightly worried I would look rough and hungover for my date with NME man on Sat nite, but I needed the vodka after that blag!

Friday 16 January
I hadn't expected to get into Kate Moss's house, so I didnt have a clue what to do when I suddenly found myself in her dining room.
I assessed the situation and saw there werent that many people in the dining room. F and I needed to make ourselves inconspicuous and so we sat down at the table in the far left corner. We were in Sadie Frosts and Meg Mathews seats (there were place cards - how twee)
The room was flamboyantly decorated - must have taken them all day. The table was big enough for 30 people and draped all over in velvet. All the seats were big thrones. There was a central fruit basket sculpture on the table about 4ft high and then grapes and figs spread out of the table. On the sideboard, there was a big basket of bread. There was a stags head on the wall and gorgeous waiters pouring drinks and trying to clean up the mess.
Her house is lovely. I didnt get to see much of it before i got thrown out. But I did see the dining room, which was adequately sized and had a good view of the massive garden (a rarity in London). I saw the kitchen with all the mod cons, although that wasnt massive. And I saw the dining room, which had a lovely expensive black and white marble tiled floor, a red rug and a brown chaise longue. All the celiings were really tall and all the walls and ceilings were brilliant white. I cant believe she has a 5 year old daughter - does the kid not have crayons or just a v strict nanny?
Music at the party wasnt amazing - think I heard Blondie and The Prodigy. And it wasnt that loud.
And the guest list was disappointing as there were hardly any people there. I read the guest list the first time F and I tried to blag it and there were guests like Abi Clancy, Ronnie Wood and Russell Brand. But inside there was just James Brown, Davinia Taylor, Moss's mum and artist Peter Blake. Stella McCartney, Sadie frost and Meg left straight after dinner. I got to Kates about midnight and some of her guests had already left - must have been a rubbish party.
Because the dining room was empty, we were starting to get noticed so F and I moved to the kitchen. That wasnt too busy either, but we did see Kates boyfriend Jamie Hince. We locked eyes and then I got a tap on my shoulder from the clipboard girl I ran away from earlier.
"You're not meant to be here girls," he said quietly. "Follow me and don't make a scene."

Friday 16 January
After spending the whole day out of the office, running around letting my sister out of my flat, I thought I had to do something super special to redeem myself. As I knew Kate Moss was having a house party, I knew what my editors would want more than anything would be for me to get inside.
Its weird because even though I hate my job and want to quit or want to misbehave so I get fired, I can't stand to fail.
So, the first step of the Kate Moss blag involved getting information. I rang up everyone I knew who vaguely knows her, including paparazzi, and got information about what the party would be like. The general consensus was that it was medieaval themed. That fitted with what had been delivered to her house earlier that day. She had a hog roast, velvet thrones, velvet curtains and lots of booze, (although the booze is normal for alcoholic Kate).
The second stage involved seeing what the News of The World were doing. I have a spy who tells me what they are doing and no doubt reports what I am doing back to them. He said NOTW were going to dress up in mediaeveal costume - maybe knights outfits - and blag their way into her house in disguise. So I decide to buy a fancy dress outfit from Escapade fancy dress hire in Camden. It was a renaissance princess outfit and cost 50 quid plus I had to get a bike to courier it over to me.
As soon as it arrived at my desk, I got another call from the NOTW spy saying their editor had taken them off the mission just in case they got into the party and got thrown out and NOTW made the headlines for the wrong reason. I asked my deputy editor if I should give up too. He was like 'no way - they wont call the police to that drug addicts house. And you dont need to tell them you are from the sunday mirror'.
So stage three was mental willpower - not giving up. As it got closer to the end of the day, I started to worry that I wouldnt get in. I thought 'why put myself through this'? I briefly considered going home, photographing myself in my outfit and then going to the office the next day saying I tried and failed to get in. But then I thought, how hard would it be to catually try. If I get a taxi there, try it and then get a taxi back, and least I have witnessed first hand what the scrum outside her house is like.
Stage four involved gathering my accomplices. I have a friend called Jason, who is good to call up at short notice for fun showbiz things. He looks very indie and inoffensive, is good at blending in and can talk about music for hours (something to start small talk at parties). He was there the night Kelly Osbourne slapped me. And he was up for the challenge of taking on Kate Moss. We arranged to meet at a pub in Farringdon and then go to the party. Meanwhile, I was texting best mate Firgas to say I was worried about pulling off the Moss blag. I was so worried, she said she would come with me and Jason, bring another mate and we WOULD pull it off. (She is SO positive). We all met in a pub in Faringdon at 1115pm
We were ready for stage five - the actual logistics of getting in. We thought we knew someone who was inside, who may come and get us, but he wasnt answering his phone. So Firgas had a great plan - call my papers photographer and tell him to round up as many photographers as poss to pap us heavily and cause a scene. With any luck, we would get into the party or write about how people were abused outside. And we ended up getting in because we were literally screaming in pretence that we were so scared of the paparazzi. What happened was that we were causing so much of a scene that Kate Moss's bouncers grabbed us from the street and paparazzi scrum, pulled us through the front gates of her Mortimer Close house and led us up to the front door.
The final stage was legging it. I pretended I was so scared of the paps that I couldnt talk, while F gave our names to a man with a clipboard. Suprise, surprise we werent on the list. But i was still pretending to hyperventilate, the clipboard man went off to find someone. F and I decided to leg it round the side of her house while the boys waited for the clipboard man to come back (DIVIDE AND CONQUER). We ran round the side of her house to where we could hear voices and music. Ran up some steps, where I tripped over my dress and fell over. Got back up quickly and followe F through a door. The first thing I saw was a well-eaten spit roast pig. WE WERE IN KATE MOSS'S DINING ROOM.

Friday 16 January
Why is it that I forget things when I am stressed? Every time I have lost my mobile phone, it has been when I am way busy at work. Once I was on my mobile looking for work after I had just been sacked / contract not renewed from The Daily Telegraph. I put the phone down, literally, and it was gone.
Another time, I was attempting to gatecrash Kylie Minogue's birthday party. I had no other stories so it was a matter of life and death that I got in. And I didnt. To make matters even worse, I left my phone in the black cab I took home. That was hellish as I was due on holiday the next day and I had to make calls from a payphone in Croatia, asking when I was getting a replacement phone.
There was one other occasion that I left my phone in a taxi (when I was drunk at the londonpaper. Think I had been out four nights in a row and then woke up at 6am every morning to start work at 7am). But that time, the next passenger of the taxi found it and posted it back to me. I posted them flowers to say thanks. (The best I could do)
Today, I didnt lose my phone but I did almost lose my sister!
She stayed in my flat after our night at The Dorchester and I locked her in because I double locked the door on my way out.
She had a photographic job for my best mate Firgas, and she was late for it. I let her down and I let Firgas down.
And I kind of let my bosses down as I had to leave work and let my sister in (but I dont care about my bosses as much)
STRESSFUL DAY!

Thursday 15 January
After meeting Peter Crouch at The Dorchester, I do fancy him.
But I think I fancy his model girlfriend Abi Clancy even more. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever met. So jealous of her looks! Make myself feel better by telling myself I am probably cleverer than her.

Thursday 15 January

Part of the reason we didnt get my sister a job is we abandoned our chase half way through to attend the first night of Kate Moss's 35th birthday celebrations (sorry sis)
I had a tip off from a paparazzo that Moss was dining at the Dorchester Hotel's China Tang restaurant so me and my sister decided to go to the bar, get some cocktails and wait.
We got there at 10pm and got thrown out at closing time at 130am so it was an expensive night (about 80quid for our drinks)
One of the funniest points was meeting foortballer Peter Crouch, who recognised ME from my column. But I thought it woukd be better to remain anonymous if I was watching Kate Moss so I told him I was a jewellery designer. We kept arguing for ages as he swore he recognised me. And I realised I am quite bad at lying (because secretly I am proud he recognised me). There was a lot of giggling going on on my part!
Anyway, we saw Kate Moss just once in the whole 3.5 hours of sitting there so it was a bit of a waste of time. Plus all the daily newspapers were there. I kicked myself - I should have known better and should have acted on my instincts quicker. (My gut instict was to cause controversy and ask Kate 'are you pregnant or just fat?' But I tried to wait for the right moment, instead of bursting into her private room. And I waited so long, she left - doh!)
A late night with too much alcohol - not good for marathon training plan.
But I had heard Moss is having another party Friday night, so I MUST do better then

Thursday 15 January
No rest for the wicked (or those too weak to say no) as I promised I would help my sister get a job.
She wants a job in a nightclub, so even though I spend every night of my life partying I said I would take her round a few clubs.
We also went for dinner at Nobu (I'd promised her that a long time ago and never got round to it).
So it was a proper showbiz night with dinner at Nobu, then Molton House private members club in Mayfair and then we planned to go to Maya nightclub.
And that meant it was an expensive night - taxis everywhere and a bit more champagne than I could afford at Nobu plus desert. (That bill came to #180!!
And at the end of it, we didnt even get her a job (although we did get a few cards)

Thursday 15 January
Woke up at 630, grabbed the bags i had packed from the night before and got bus to Peckham swimming pool.
Did 45 mins of swimming - 60 lengths then did my hair and make-up for French tv. Shoved a banana and a cereal bar down my throat on way to bus. But as I was running late I got the wrong bus that ended up taking 30mins to elephant and castle tube.
I was 30mins late for French tv (doh!)
Then ran to F's office as I had a photoshoot for her magazine. Managed to get there for 11 and then I had to hang around because the backdrop where they wanted to shoot wasnt ready. I got a bit frustarted coz i was in the running round mode.
We managed to have everything done by 1230, and i dashed off. I felt bad that I wasnt hanging out with F but I had way too much other stuff to do. Tidy my house and rest - I have work again tomorrow.
NME man and I are meeting on Saturday. He called me last night when I was researching for French TV. We had a nice chat for about 30mins but then I was a bit rude and was like 'I have to go to research french tv'. He asked me what I was going to say and I was like, I dont know so let me get on with it.
Hope Saturday is fun!

Weds 14 January 2009
Not much to report. I completely failed to put the argos shoe cupboard together. At one point I super-glued my sock to the floor.
I planned to try a 2 hour run but could only manage 1hr 40 mins
Did some admin for other people – helping leo out with a meeting with londonpaper. Then tried to help out my sister by arranging meetings with London club owners.
Applied some fake tan because it's the photoshoot for my magazine column on Thursday.
And now I am going to research Prince Harry – French TV are paying me #100 quid to talk about the incidence where he was racist towards a Pakistani soldier.
Has been some NME interaction. He said he might be around tonight, and if not he will be around sat. Im actually hoping hes not around tonight because I am tired!

Tues 13 Jan
Woke up about 8am because I had to get some things to the BBC 519 show, which I was due to do later that day.
Then a sky plus man came to fix my box.
Then the argos man came to deliver a shoe cupboard.
Went to asda to get some healthy food.
Then I went for a run to try and get back in shape. It was shocking – I could barely do 45mins.
After lunch, I did a bit of admin like getting on to a journalism school about doing a talk to recruit students (part of mine and F's Bournemouth wetherspoons rant)
Went to 519 show., Then went to Lu's magazines meeting, then went to meet former housemate Jenny Love at a restaurant. I was running to all these appointments as it was prob quicker than taxi…
Really good to catch up with Jenny. I didn't drink alcohol (so felt proud of self). And then we put the world to rights about men. Also chatted about jobs – she suggested setting up my own website which I am totally going to do.
Left Jenny about 1030 and got home at 1115. So tired!
On way back, chatted to Leo's mate K who wanted me to write about an event he was doing for Barack Obama's inauguration. NEVER STOP WORKING! He tried to flirt but I was tired. Hung up on him. His laugh annoyed me.

Monday 12 Jan
No time to sleep as I had to get a train back at 759. Booked a cab to the station for 730am and jumped out of bed at 7am toi have a shower first.
Said bye to F – she had enough time to do a chocolate making course that day – and was off back to London.
Bought a hearty cheese and ham plouyghmans sarnie - something savoury after the previous days chocolate overload.
Despite traces of a headache, I managed to put the finishing touches to my novel synopsis on the journey home. Wrote it in my notebook, typed it up on my laptop and ran to the internet café (in the rain) to print it off.
Booked a cab to the taxi then started making muself look beautiful by staraightening hair and putting on make-up etc.
Meanwhile Leo texted me asking if I wanted to go out that evening. I didn't really but I thought I was free and it will be something to take my mind off the meeting.
About 1pm I was so tired I cracked open a bag of really sugary sweets (foam tootbrushes and teeth) and ate most of them. Gave myself a mental pep talk to hold it together for a few minutes until the end of the meeting.
I was proud of how I did in the meeting. I gave the show of my life – name dropping every single celeb I had ever met. Spent about an hour there.
I was frustrated that there was no definite offer from her, but I did everything I could. The only thing Ii could have done slightly better was write a better synopsis. I really should have started on it when I knew the meeting with the literary agent was arranged (before Christmas) but I had other stuff to do before then.
Told her all the TV appearances I was doing which impressed her. BUT then I told her about Big Brothers Big Mouth and as soon as I went home I found that I was no longer needed. (After the initial disappointment with Big Brother little brother loser, I told him I was well disappointed and he booked me for a date. So of course I tell the literay agent, and then found out after I want on it – so frustrating!!)
After the meeting, I got the tube home and went to bed for an hour.
Woke up and ate lots of stodge – cookie, chocolate orange slices and crisps – to stay awake. Walked to meet Leo. He was 30mins late which was v annoying as I could have had 30mins more sleep. I had to walk around the venue coz I knew I would fall asleep if I sat round waiting for him.
The event was well boring. (David Gest attempting stand up comedy and introducing some ancient singers he previously worked with. Plus two random dwarves / midgets – Gests little people)
At 1030, I thought it was over but it was only half time. The only thing that made me feel happy was pride at myself that I didn't drink alcohol (after the previous few days excesses).
But I did eat some more chocolate cake – more interesting than the gig.
Leo was equally bored and said I dint have to stay. At first, I felt guilty but at 1130, I couldn't take it any more.
I got back at 1230ish and went straight to bed!

Sunday 11 Jan
Woke up at 830 and got straight to work. Had arranged to meet F at station at 1pm so had a few hours. In the end, I finished my key moments list about 10am.
So went back to bed for an hour, booked a cab to the train station and got there in record time.But at 123pm – 7 mins before we were due to meet – F texted me and said she was on her way. I knew she would miss it, which she did. And as the next train was an hour later, I was v angry.
I didn't want to go to Bournmouth this weekend because of my books meeting but Ii agreed because F and Lu did. It was so frustaring that I had made the effort and they couldn't be bothered. Lu didn't turn up at all because she was vomiting so much from the night before.
F hadn't even been to bed but she held it together so well. When we got to the Chocolate Hotel, which we were there to review, she had a shower and we met in the bar 45v mins later for chocolate cocktails.
Then we explored Bournemouth – not v glam on a Sunday night. We ended up in a Wetherspoons drinking pink fizzy wine and eating chips with ketchup.
But the wine (and booze from the previous day and lack of sleep) made me lose my usual politeness. I said what Ii really thought about Lu's mag – that it needed to be more professional – and we got a lot resolved.
Then we wrote a list of what we wanted to achieve in 2009 in terms of DJing. We made our way to the sea and through it in. Let our dreams float out to sea… Had some more chocolate when I got back to my room (giving me a headache) and I staggered into bed just after 2.

Saturday 10 Jan
Woke up at 530am and ALMOST finished the key moments document. So frustrating as the only time I can finish it now is Sunday morning before I go to the Chocolate Hotel in Bournemouth.
Work was hellish! I exaggerated some of Mel B's quotes as I felt under pressure to spin it to get a story far up in the paper. Then I felt sick she would sue me.
The editors didn't like the lead story, so I felt sick while they made up their minds about what I should do.
Meanwhile F was setting up her party venue. I felt guilty I couldn't be there. Then there was a karaoke machine nightmare. The owner of the karaoke parlour didn't know what equipment we wanted or how to deliver it to the venue.
That was followed by the 'boy nightmare'. I invited NME man and Ant, because I wanst sure if either would accept. True to form, NME man at first said he wouldn't go. Then he changed his mind Saturday afternoon, which stressed me immensely as Ant did accept. How was I gonna interact between the two of them…
By 7pm, I was knackered so I just went on facebook and read some Saturday newspaper supplements to kill what I thought was just 30mins til home time.
But in the end, the paper was late and I couldn't leave til past eight. Not good when the party itself was meant to start at 8.
Plus I had to get make up done and put on my full length dress! I literally ran to the tube, got off the other side and ran to the venue, which was in the art gallery where F has her offices.
She'd only just finished getting ready, so we had a shot of vodka from the vodka luge and I went to get ready while she sorted out karaoke.
She came into the room and I gave her some presents. But she hadn't opened them when my phone rang. It was NME guy and I had to answer it. After waiting for five minutes, F left to organize more stuff and I felt well guilty. But it was good news for me. NME man had to cancel so it'd just be Ant later.
It was so good to see Ant. When I said bring a bottle – he brought 10. Eight bottles of cava and two bottles of vodka.Legend.
He got on with my little sister and was the best dancer in the whole world. We had so much fun (but no kisses).
Overall the party was fab! F's business partner Lu was not in great spirits though. For some reason she likes Zoo magazine man (who I have previously kissed). But he is minging – he is ginger and he is the only ginger guy I know who got darker ginger highlights. And he boasted that his mum's mate did it (ie a home dye job!). Also, the last time he saw Lu, he gave her a std!
Anyway, he didn't turn up so she wanst happy and got completely wasted. I don't know when she left..
F was dancing all night with a good looking guy (although later in the night she told me he was homosexual)
I left about 3am because sister was bugging me. She was tired and didn't know people etc.
I didn't mind that much as it would give me more time to do some work before going to Bournemouth. But I did feel guilty about leaving F as I know she likes all-night parties.
Thankfully she was fine.
But the upsetting thing for me is that Ant didn't kiss me goodbye. And he stayed at the party for ages without me having fun with other people. HOW COMES I AM LOSING MY SEXY APPEAL TO MEN??

Friday 9 Jan
Worked hard during the day, writing up my Mel B interview and doing my column.
Had an argument with showbiz editor because I left the office at 7pm and he said 'nobody leaves til 730.' Im not a clockwatcher!!!
As soon as I got home, I stayed up late to finish off a document about the key moments in my career and the celebrities I have met.
Then I tidied up my house because my little sister is staying with me Saturday night after F's party.
Crawled into bed at 1am – so tired

Thurs 8 Jan
Woke up at 6am because I have a meeting with a books publisher next Monday and I am going away at the weekend. Spent lots of time thinking about what novel I would like to write, so I was 15 mins late for work.
Left work at 2pm to get to Lakeside shopping mall for an interview with mel b. Did the interview and then went shopping to get a dress for F's birthday. Shopped til about 730, got home at 9 and then stayed up until past midnight, working on the novel synopsis. There is so much to get done before Monday – the next few days are gonna involve a lot of work and partying and not much sleep.

Weds 7 Jan
No showbiz parties so decided to do a thing me and F had wanted to do for ages and sort out a meeting with a vodka entrepreneur. F has inherited her family vineyard so thought vodka guy might be able to help.
Was a bit late, and tried to explain that to F. But ended up texting Leo instead. I actually texted him something along the lines of 'Gonna be late but I can't wait to use my key.' He didn't reply but ust have thought I was texting another guy. Ouch…
Anyway, Ant was a lot cuter than I remembered. There seemed to be some chemistry there. BUT we were having too much fun catching up we didn't chat about the alcohol industry that much. I felt bad for F.
Then we all got a taxi to a nightclub where Pete Doherty and the Babyshambles were playing. With F's magazine business partner Lu, who LOVES pete.
Night was a wash out. Pete was meant to be on stage at 930, but couldn't find a drummer so didn't actually get on stage while I was there. Ant and I left about 1145, because he wanted to get a tube home. I went with him (F and Lu stayed) and hoped he might kiss me on the way to the tube. No luck – dammit!
Got home about 1230 v pissed off. No ant and no Nme guy – so upsetting

Tues 6 Jan
Up at 7am and went to the gym – good start! Then after getting the payments and expenses admin done at work, I went to Queens Park to film the golden globes segment. However, there were a few disasters:
(1) Queens Park is about an hour from my office and I found it difficult to get my admin done so I was late
(2) They asked me about tv nominations as well as movies and I didn't even know there were TV qs. That threw me off and I got nervus. (So on Sunday night, when it was on tv, I was on for 5 seconds at most. It was so embarrassing as I had told all my mates to tune in to Sky One)

Got back to the office and tried to get stories. Then had a sandwich (as knew I wouldn't eat later) and left for cirque de soleil.
It was so awkward as my seats were right next to the deputy editor and his pregnant wife. We got in late and had to climb into the seats, over the pregnant wife. I had to sit next to the pregnant wife and felt like I couldn't move much because of her massive bump.
At the interval, the editor didn't have tickets for the VIp area. I felt guilty but it was good to be away from them! But we ended up chatting and had to go in to the second half late again.
During the show, Leo kept on going on his blackberry which was distracting, He wanted to know the tottenham game scores but it was not good etiquette when I was trying to behave myself in front of dep ed.
Finally it was over. Leo and I decided to hang out with a weird PR and his clients including DJ Sonique, Sonique's mum and fashion designer Elizabeth Immanuel. We had some food and prosecco (which the pr irritatingly described as 'champagne').
Then got stuck talking to Sonique's mum. The only way I could leave (about 1230) was by yawning loudly and saying I had to get up early the next day.
Pr offered to put us in a taxi. He put us in the same one as someone who lived in Queens Park (where I had been earlier that day).
I explained I knew it was ages away but Leo listened to the girl that lived in Queens Park. And it was so annoying because I didn't get home til 130am.
Still no word from NME man!

Monday 5 Jan

Not much sleep again – woke up early to prepare something to say on the BBC 519 show. In the end, decided on saying my predictions for the coming year as absolutely NOTHING went on last week. To be fair, it's the only time I haven't met or filmed a celeb since I started but I still felt bad that they were paying me to go on and talk about something. Anyone could do that!
After emailing the shows producer, I went for a short run and then did some admin. That was
(1) Trying to get myself on Celebrity Big Brother Big Mouth. But with no success. I was SO angry. A runner booked me for a show called 'Why I love Celeb BB'. The terms of that was he wasn't going to pay me but he would book me for Celeb BB big Mouth. Then he left that show and is now working on Big Brother Little Brother (which he must have known). MORAL IS NEVER TRUST TV PEOPLE OR PEOPLE THAT OWE YOU SOMETHING
(2) Agreeing to do a tv show about the golden globes – they would pay me #250 to talk about who I wanted to win the golden globes (a talking head show). I know it was v short notice, but I could fit it in tues lunchtime

Did bbc show then came home and prepared the golden globes show throroughly – who was up for what award and the last time they won that award. Was up until about 1am. Still no word from NME man.

Sunday 4 Jan
Had a VERY good morning. Managed to wake up at 7am, despite not going to bed til midnight because of the Sat late shift. Then I quickly got dressed and walked 20mins to Peckham to the Peckham swimming pool. Its really nice there – must have opened about 2 years ago because it was so clean. There was underfloor heating and hairdryers that work!
I did 90 lengths (60 front crawl and 30 breast stroke) in an hour.
Then I got a bus back, had breakfast, put the Christmas tree away, hovered house, and got bus to Elephant and Castle, where I bought some hair extensions. Then I went to Brixton but didn't buy much. Planned to buy art as thought there was an art market, but I couldn't find the market!
Had a v non showbiz moment where I desperately needed toilet so had to pop into McDonalds – if my mates could see me?! And I went to the 99p shop – people would be sooo shocked! I bought three toothbrushes from there, which is annoying as I paid 2.79 yesterday for ONE from Tesco.
I felt free and took a romantic novel to read on the journey to Brixton. (The only good thing about working lates is you get the papers read the night before)
Had a quick lunch and then started thinking about novels I could write in the afternoon.
And then I ruined my virtue by eating some chocolate and Turkish delight and ice-cream, (thinking about novels / work stressed me out)
Relaxed watching Will and Grace on my sofa and then read more of my romantic novel. Felt weird because it was so nice to be doing nothing, but I would have liked someone to share the moment with.
Texted sister Joanna as her bloke was going back to Qatar today. No reply.
But arranged to meet up with Leo, singer from Streets for a show on Tuesday night. Selfish reasons as my deputy editor is going to be at the event and I want to show off I have a semi famous boy to accompany me.
And then out of the blue, Maxim man texted me to ask what I had been up to.
This is Maxim man that goes to Bath, when we were meant to be spending a night together, so I don't think I should reply.

Saturday 3 Jan
Really found it hard to sleep coz worrying about Jacko. I felt stressed all the way to work and comfort ate a bagel with fried egg, And then a kinder chocolate bar. But all that lot didn't make me feel happy and I washed it down with a Diet Coke.
Each Saturday is getting harder than the last – I don't know how I can stand it.
One bit of good (and surprising news) was that I didn't have to worry about Michael Jackson. They printed it even though I didn't get the quotes.
But the bad news was the news ed thought my lead story was 'rubbish – not sassy or ground-breaking'. He also thought the ok-ko part of my column was boring and not sassy. And he got so angry and red-faced I thought he would explode. It's because he does too much coke…
Its strange because out of work I am sassy and cool and funny, but when I get in the office I lose all my personality, am scared to speak in case the editors lose their tempers, and I stop being 'sassy'. HATE IT
HATE THEM too – the editors all went to the pub without me – leaving me to watch Celeb BB on my own. Ate chilli cheese fries and Mand Ms to make me feel slightly better. (It did, actually)
My contemporary on The People newspaper, Katie Hind, was working late and sometimes we go out to get wine together if we are both on lates. But she doesn't get in til 5pm if shes on lates, (as opposed to my 9am starts) and her editors wouldn't let her leave.
I booked a taxi for 1045, as hoped to leave about 1030 (13.5 hours in the office). But the first editions of the other papers didn't come in til late and I ended up leaving at 1115. Taxi charged me 30 mins waiting time.
No men news expect had a row with THREE (in a non sexual way)
Firstly, one contact didn't answer his phone so I gave up on him and said I'd only print his stories and therefore give him cash if he answered his phonelike it was work.
Secondly, one emailed me a story that he also gave to NOTW. I lost my temper.
And finally, one annoying PR man kept asking me to get his client Mica Paris in the paper. I gave him one word answers on the phone so he knew I was busy.
After one phonecall one of the guys said 'enjoy rest of your weekend'. I was like ' my weekend hasn't started yet. (About 5pm on a Saturday). How depressing!

Friday 2 January 2009
A bit of a non-day because the stories I was working on didn't work out that well and I spent all day working v hard.
I went to the gym for an hour, which was good.
Then I listed my stories, wrote up a news story about Paul McCartney and Jacko and dealt with all the phone call and email admin.
There was even office admin crap as
But the Macca / Jacko story was no good as no official spokespeople would return my calls….
By the time I took a break for lunch it was 130pm!
Then I wrote my lead column story about Amy Winehouse, but the guy that told me that wouldn't return my calls either
The only people that did hassle me were people with boring gossip shorts, that would only have made the sources #100 at most and they would be lucky if I was to put it in.
Wrote a few of those up, then waited for Jacko's people to call. They didn't.
By the time I left the office it was 730ish. I was all in a faff as I wouldn't get home until 815 then. The faff meant I lost the pass to get out the building and spent 10 minutes cursing.
Had a bit of a moan in the office. The other reporters told me to shut up and go home.
But I knew I would be sitting at home waiting for Jacko to call.
So I comfort ate tuna, crisps (more delicious than it sounds). And had Turkish delight and chocolate after (yummy!)
Texted a LA correspondent but he couldn't help.
NME man couldn't even help (and no kisses in his text messages despite yesterdays hopefulness)
At 10pm, still no word from Jacko. Saturday will probably be a hellish day and to make it worse I'm on the late shift. Meaning 9am start and 11pm finish. Yuck!

1 Jan 2009 (later in the day)
Felt rough when I woke up. Firstly, because I slept on my sofa bed in the living room, because the downstairs neighbours were still having a barbecue when I got back from my parties (WHY?!!) Secondly, because I drank a couple of glasses of cava, a couple of glasses of champagne and some double vodkas.
I had planned to be healthy and eat, fruit and yogurt, but I opened my fridge and saw some white chocolate, which I really craved.
Managed to get in on time at 10, despite the tube making me depressed by being full of people still traveling home from the night before.
Listed some stories I had heard and then worked on researching facts about new bands, new TV shows and new fashion trends for 2009 as I was taking part in a radio debate on BBC Radio 5 live.
They sent a car for me at 12, and I tried to ignore the driver's inane chat and concentrate on my lines. He must have thought I was well moody, as we got stuck in New Years Day traffic and I started stressing I wouldn't make it in time. (I was NERVOUS)
We made it with five minutes to spare, and I learned a lesson – no matter how much you prepare it is still best to go on a radio show hangover free as you will have to improvise and think on the spot.
There were two pickly moments. Firstly, he asked me if I had played ski-ing on the wii and I made something up. You could kind of tell I was making it up.
Then I got confused about the name of Britney Spears' album Circus, because Take That's album is also called Circus.
But I thought I did ok overall, given it was my first time on the radio.
Got back to the office about 3pm and bought myself a disgusting sandwich from a cheapo café (there was no good food place open on new years day). I had planned to eat a tuna salad in the car but the car was clean and the driver was already pissed off with me.
And then I just had to buy myself a massive cookie because my hangover was kicking in again. The adrenalin from the radio had worn off and I had at least 3 hours till normal home time of 6.
But in the end, about 445pm, the news editor said we were allowed to go home because he felt rough himself and didn't want to stay. That was a new year miracle!
I got home about 515, put some washing on and put some dry washing away. I was so tired I had a nap from 6 til 7 and then uploaded the next load of washing and watched Eastenders. Did some reading and went to bed again about 830, setting my alarm for 7am.
Apart from waking up at 145, I slept pretty well. But when my alarm went off at 7, I felt quite ill. I never realized too much sleep could be bad for you as haven't had that much sleep since Australia.

Thursday 1 Jan 2009(Early Hours)
After all my stressing, NME man texted just before midnight WITH A KISS.
He wrote: "Hey you, happy new year! Hope the parties are fun. See you very soon. X"
Technically there is no way of knowing whether that text was meant for me but as he rarely kisses then it must be. He's shy. The only other 'you' would probably be his mum.
Spent New Years round my old schoolmate Darren's house. Same as every year, but this year Firgas came and she brought a crew.
I found it amusing to see how it turned out as F, her business partner Lou, their assistant Emma, writer Adam and Lou's boyfriend Lee, sat in the kitchen while my Hemel mates hardly mingled and sat in the living room.
Even when I tried to get the newbies in the living room by including them in the Nintendo wii games, Darren was not good at sharing.
When we went to the river before midnight to watch the fireworks, we walked in two separate groups.
At midnight, two separate groups of people took photos.
I guess I should have got a bit of a hint that there might be awkwardness earlier in the day when Darren sent me a text meant for his girlfriend Muna saying: "Is marc coming as a few people are bringing randoms now."
(But 1 – Randoms is not v nice. And 2 – he doesn't kiss his girl in text messages either)
The most interesting thing about the whole night came as I was leaving. I had a cab booked for 1245 as I had work the next day (and a radio appearance). When I went in the living room to say bye to Darren, he said 'can you ask your druggie friends to leave now'. All the schoolmates in the living room were gossiping about how Lou and Lee were in the toilet for ages and acting strangely. Darren was going on about how he could get arrested. My schoolmates are so surbaban, which I never realized before tonight.
Anyway, I didn't tell them to leave. Darrens housemate Jason went in the kitchen and started tomingle so I left them to it.
And they must have been ok as just before I went to bed at 3am, F texted me to say she had a great time.

Weds 31 December
Kean Zoe does it again. I emailed him with an email including the words 'lovely to wake up with you this morning..." After all the effort I went to wuth my leavig line "MAYBE see you in 2009"
I emailed him to get predictions for the simon mayo radio show Im appearing on tomorrow. kind of wanted to rub it in that I was successful ad desirable.
Now worried that i seem like an idiot.
And to make matters worse i dont know where I stand with him. Guess I shouldnt text him at midnight now, should I?
The rational side of me is saying he will realise in the club he goes to that there are noother girls as fit as me and text me.

I am spending ew years with the same friends Ive spent it with every year since I was 16. last year, i invited my stalker ex boyfriend. This year I am inviting best mate F, who I have actually only known for 9 months. (But she is my best mate coz we spent LOTS of time together) Lets hope she doesnt turn pyscho this time next year

Weds 31 December
I'm writing this at work, not just becasue my computer is broken but because I spent night at NME man's yesterday.
So nice to wake up in his bed and cuddle. Although not so nice that he hasn't got any food in house and lives in West London. But the time I got to my office in canary wharf, my stomach was eating itself with hunger and rumbkling like a volcano. And then I had to stop at Top Shop and buy some knickers...What a dirty stop-out (although I would argue i am actually quite clean if I am buying knickers)
So how did it happen? Yesterday was my first day back in the office after the Christmas break. All day, I didnt do much work. Met katie hind from the people for lunch, then did a bit of sales shopping. Got bacj to desk and researched new laptops online, and texted NME guy to see what he was doing that night. He suggested cinema so i escpaed office at 545 (15 minutes earlier than the earliest time i am allowed to leave) and we met at The Gate cinema in Notting Hill.
We watched Gonzo: The Life of Hunter Thompson. He was surprised I wanted to see it. Reckon he thinks I am a bimbo...
I did yawn a bit during film but that is because it was 2 hours long. In fact, I enjoyed it and we talked bout it after over dinner.
But the actual dinner process was hellish and it made me think do i really have a future with this man.
In the afternoon, I had researched possible food places because I get hungry and i hate missing dinner. I miss it most nights because of parties, so when I get a night off I want to eat. But NME guy is veggie so I have to be carfeul...
Anyway, found a pub that was meant to serve food til 10. There was no table but I was hungry so I made it my mission to find one. Eventually found one with one chair, so i caried another one through the pub. NME man (who is v shy) was shocked by my bossiness. Then after all that the pub said it wasnt doing food. NME guy says "Shall we stay here for a drink?"
But I was STARVING so I said "Ok, but I am really hungry" in a pissed off way. We left the pub and stood outside for a bit acting like dumb people lost in London.
I knew there was a nice fish and chip shop nearby, but I was worried veggie might not like the fish idea. Fortunately, he did and he had rose, I had wine and we shared chips and peas. He had a side salad and i had a soft shell crab followed by banana caramel cheesecake.
I felt a bit bad for my hunger tantrum earlier, as dinner was lovely. But I liked to be wined AND dined.
Then I felt bad when we got the tube back to his neck of the woods. I pulled a dress out of my handbag and said "look I have something to weat tomorrow." Then I realised that sounded presumptious. He smiled and said: "Presuming, are we? Am I that predictable." I smiled and said "yes," but deep down I cursed my outburst as a girl should surely play harder to get to keep NME man interested.
Anyway, went back to his, rolled a cigarette and smoked it out the window while listening to his CD collection. That was bliss. And before I knew it, I was on his lap kissing him and then we were in bed.
The next morning, we hugged for a bit and then I said: "I might see you in 2009." (Just to keep mysterious)

Also started a list of things you shouldn't do when you stay round boys houses:
(1) Leave your alarm clock on your blackberry set for 7am when phoneis in the living rom so boy has to go upstairs and turn it off
(2) Look in mirror for ages before you leave house so boy comes out to check you arent stealing something

Monday 29 December
My old laptop has finally died, so i am writing this to email myself. Technology - can't live with it (coz it never works) and can't live without it (because I need to blog, obviously).
Spent a boring couple of hours at PC World and Comet, looking at laptops. Want something powerful so I can edit my TV showreel on it and do TV stuff on it. But then I could get an averagely powerful one (easier to carry) and add on hard drives. Or I could get a large immovable one and then a notebook, which just gives you internet on the move. I like the notebook idea the most because then I wont break my back carrying it everyday. But the two hours spent in the computer shops made me wonder if I would ever get one - how do i choose?
My afternoon was spent at the other end of the scale - from a surplus of computers to a drought of men. Firgas and I had the funniest day. We started Operation FM - fit men. We partly want one to be our future husbands and partly want one that knows about wine, as Firgas has just inherited her family's vineyard in Austria.
Our aim was to think like the Family Fortunes quiz show. If we were fit men, then where would we hang out?
We started at the Urban Golf place in Soho - kerr-ching! Lots of men> although it was hard breaking into their conversations because they were so busy playing. Next time.
Then went trocadero centre, but that was like a number five on the family fortunes board. The men there were between 18-20 or tourists. Eh-eh (rubbish)
Tried finding a pub where there was a pool table, but the men round it were UGLY.
And all the other pubs in Soho were deserted.
So we thought about our stomachs - where would men eat? And decided on bodeans, the american rib shack. Chips and ribs were delicious but not THAT much totty.
Over dinner we had a brainwave, men go to LOCAL pubs and not pubs in town. So we met our mate Adam near where he lives in Notting Hill / Westbourne park. When F met up with him at Carnival, they went to the westbounr pub and she met a fit guy.
But the Westbourned was closed. Typical luck,
And the pub opposite - THE COW - was rammed. Nice men but no seats and we wouldnt get any opportunities to chat and chill.
So we walked to a pub caled the prince bonaparte, which was lovely but full of couples and families. Nice big christmas tree with fairy lights, roaring fire and pub food with chalkboad of wines but no eligible hunks.
So we did what any self-respecting girls should do - treat ourselves and buy champagne. Actually, we did even better as Adam bought us the champagne and brought it to our table and we just chilled out.
Bliss.
Got a cab back at about 1030, so i could rest for my first day back in the office. And might me seeing NME man on Tues.
(NME man texted me through the golf. NOt easy when you are trying to play rounds. F got annoyed. And we were on a separate mission so said I would call him and do something tomorrow)
(Maxim Man also called. he wanted to see me for ages and then said he needed to see me in the afternoon coz he was going to Bath in evening to see cousins. I lost temper and said i am notr a girl you can fit in for a few hours. But he actually seemed apologhetic.
But then I lost brownie points later in the evening as I sent him a champagne induced text sayig you could have had me tonight and you chose to go to Bath., loser. Regret sending the text)

Saturday 27 November
Annoyingly, I woke up at 630, desperate for the toilet and had to fight my way out of the room in the dark past all the presents that I hadn’t packed. The toilet had just been flushed – my mum must have just got up to do some exercise or other. Probably jogging.
I went back to bed, woke up at 920, but my sleep mask and went back to sleep until my sister woke me up by noisily getting dressed about 1025. I decided to get up – that was still longer than I usually sleep for.
Started my healthy eating plan with an apple, a plum, grapes, a yoghurt and a couple of dried apricots for breakfast. Then got changed quickly and set off for a walk to the shops in the centre of town.
Freesing cold, but felt so nice to be away from family again and on my own. Thoughts kept coming into my head about what I wanted to achieve in 2009, so made lists like ‘oscars’, ‘playboy manision’ and Firgas’ birthaday (10 Jan)
Got soooo many bargains in town. Started the spree in Superdrug, where I bought Firgas a sparkly digital camera, that was only a fiver. Admittedly it only had 1.3 pixels, but it looked good from outside. Also bought a lilo, and decided to have a theme for her presents – playboy mansion. She’d need that when we got there..
Next stop Poundland, where I bought some wrapping paper to wrap presents up. Also bought myself Johnsons holiday skin body moisturizer, a notebook to start my TV work plotting and a screwdriver, (dad promised to put up my blinds).
In WH Smith I bought Firgas a half-price Playboy bunny bug for 4.99. And then I splashed out on myself in New Look, where I bought black skinny jeans (a necessity), a black and silver dress (a necessity when you work in showbiz like me) and a kimono style top (coz it was pretty). Also bought a chunky belt, (necessity as my fave chunky belt was almost broke through over-use), and a handbag for Firgas’ business partner Lu, who was sharing Firgas’ birthday party. For all that, my New Look bill was just 46quic, but it took about 20 mins of queuing at the tills. Surrounded by annoying, thick women with lots of kids. Helll. I wanted to buy something in River Island, but the queue looked longer. Looked at my watch and it was 145 – definitely home time. On the way back, I popped to the public toilets and had to queue up for those for 5mins. I was so angry by the time I left.
One thing that put me in a better mood was there was a bus just as I walked. Even tho it was #1.50, it was a nice memory of when I used to get the bus every week after my Saturady job in the Italian restaurant (I think the bus cost about 80p or 90p then).
Quite hungry as it was about 215, and dad was sat in kitchen eating so I helped myself to sweet potato mash and sprouts and then I added lettuce to make my plate look full. It was enough food and afterwards I had a banana, satusma and one marshmallow as I am serious about todays healthy eating plan.
Spent afternoon chilling out, thinking about the novel I am going to write and just generally enjoying having a Saturday where I don’t work., I was so relaxed, I declined the offer of going back to town with my parents at 430pm. (My parents always do that on a Saturday, as most hemel people are in town mid-afternoon with everyone else and everyone gets bored and goes home at 4pm).

Friday 26 December – BOXING DAY!
Woke up at 705 and out the house by 720 for my run. Had a lovely 50minute jog, seeing the sights of the town where I grew up. I thought about starting a novel with the man prospects all texting me on Xmas day and the start of the book explaining the diff men. Think it’s a good idea, but not sure it’s a good idea for rest of year. Why would people going on summer hols buy a book that started at Christmas? When the oufits I’ll be describing people in would be woolly hats and UGG boots…
Run put me in a good mood, but as soon as I got back I had a massive row with my brother. Over nothing.
He was making himelf turkey rolls and he had made three white rolls when there were only six in a packet. I asked if he was going to eat all those, and then he went mental calling ME selfish and telling me to butt out. I shouted at him to shut up to stop his moaning and then my mum heard the raised voices and popped her head out the shower to ask what was going on. Ben said I had a go at him about the rolls and then mum shouted at me to say there was enough rolls to go round. I said I wasn’t having a go, why didn’t everyone shut up. Then my dad said don’t tell your mum to shut up. Ben had stormed off already, slamming doors, so I cleared up his mess, discovering he had opened a new bottle of 4 pint milk when there was one already AND he had opened a new butter (and mum says he’s not selfish?)
And 5 mins later, sister comes down saying why is everyone shouting. I tell her to butt out and stop stirring and shut up and then dad has a go at me telling me to stop telling everyone to shut up. Then he explained it was over the rolls and she has a go at me, saying why do I have to go on about food. (Fair point, but if there were no rolls left when she woke up she would have been angry with him too).
At that point Christmas spirit deserted me and I started looking forward to go back to London.
Firgas (best mate) texted me at the same point saying she had had enough of her family and was going to the GAY disco with our queeny friend Laurence that night. Glad it wasn’t just me.
Had a great day at the zoo in the fresh air. Was nice to the family – posed for photos and sat for a ride on a freezing cold stream train my dad was obsessing about. But Ben was still sulking and refused to talk to me. Not that I actually cared.
Knew I was acting 11 instead of 20-something but why should I apologise about the rolls when the family had turned on me.
That evening, he went up to his room alone while I played scrabble with mum and sat by fire to warm myself up from Zoo. We had a warming dinner of turkey and then lots of pudding (why can I never resist sweet stuff?). The pudding downfall was a ‘Giant fondant fancy’ by Mr Kiplings, They are so delicious – sponge cake with a layer of strawberry jam and white fondant cream in the middle, with white fondant cream and a bit more jam on top and the pink royal icing (ie hard as opposed to buttercream) around the whole of the square shaped cake. Its meant serve 12 but I had an eight. Its too nice. Poured vanillam custard on top and then a bit of cheap shop bought trifle, (it moistened the sponge cake). Then I had a Fry’s Turkish delight as I had been thinking about it all day and I may as well eat it today while I was being unhealthy so I could start being all good on 27th.
Later that evening, I went to see best school friends Katie and Hannah at Katies house. We hardly saw each other in pub on Christmas eve because I was looking after NME man and catching up with the artist and other friends.
Han said she had Christmas presents for us all, and I hadn’t so I wrapped up the worst presents I got in my stocking. Gave Katie a star necklace for Christams and a scarf and socks for her birthday. Got Hannah a bracelet and some Ruby and Millie make-up.
Because of the present dash, I was a bit late meeting them but they didn’t mind too much – they were making cups of tea in Katies kitchen. (An extension had been done about five years ago, but I hadn’t been round to see it, which made me feel slightly bad)
Katie made me a robinson’s fruit juice and then we moved to the comfy seats in the living room with some Celebrations chocolates, After Eight mints, Terry’s Chocolate Orange and apricot bits. Despite my massive desert fest at home, I didn’t need asking twice – straight on the Chocolate Orange. Then I had a few Celebrations. Later on in the evening, Katie started on the apricots and then I had an after-eight while the general packet opening thing was going on.
We had about 3 hours, non stop talking. We have all taken such different paths since school. Hannah has just become an Auntie thanks to her sister Jody’s new baby boy. Jody was two years older than us at school. Hannah is married and has a proper 3 bedroom house near Cambridge. And she has just bought a plot of land in Duxford, where her husband’s parents live. The plan is for Han and her husband to spend weekends doing up their land and then eventually build an eco-home. Because of planning commission, they acnt have hans house of her dreams, which is a two story cottage. So their house will be living rooms on the ground floor and bedrooms downstairs. They’ll have lots of land to grow veg and keep animals like chickens and goats. And the top of the house will be made out of grass so you cant see it from the road. Eventually Hannah wants to give up work and be self-sufficient, doing housework and veg while her plumber husband Andy goes out to work when he wants (he is a plumber).At the moment, she doesn’t even work much at all – her hours are 8 to 430, with an hour lunch break and she lives three minutes from where she works). Plus she wants lots of kids, if she can sort out her polycystic ovaries, which she is having treatment for at the moment.
So I’m sort of envious about Hannah’s life, but I wouldn’t want Katie’s. She is still a student, studying for a PhD in biology at Oxford University. She has three months left to finish the pHD. She has been going out with her boyfriend Simon for 9 years, but no sign of marriage. The problem is neither of them have any money. She’s living with her parents back in Hemel. He’s living with his parents in Hemel. He commutes every day to London, where he is working for the Government Legal Service (GLS), but on a two year training scheme that he has only just started. The only time Katie sees him is when she picks him up from Hemel Hempstead train station every evening and drops him at his house across town. They see each other at weekends, but it must feel like being at school again. Her parents would NOT let him sleep over or let her stay at his. But Katie does seem happy with her lot and I am envious of THAT. Because I am so depressed with my job that has me working all the time, and don’t feel like I have a life and just don’t feelk happy…
Three girls, who went to the same school – ten years later have totally different lives. But we still love each other. I will always love my girls. We call ourselves The Odd Squad. Odd for all and odd forever.
Hannah gave me a lift back home at 1030. The sugar rush had made me crave something savaroy so I ate some more turkey, a couple of mozzarella dough balls and some salt and vinegar swirly crisps while I watched Eastenders omnibus. Went to bed about midnight.
Ben was playing drums on his guitar hero Xbox. I asked him to turn it down and he refused because he is still sulking. WHATEVER.
Didn’t set the alarm – I need a day where I don’t do any exercise for once

Thursday 25 December – Christmas Day
Sister made me set my alarm for 745, which was way too early seeing as I went to bed about midnight Christmas eve. And I had been up early all the other days for swimming. What made it even more annoying was that we couldn’t actually do anything at 745 as found out my mum had gone for a run and we had to wait til she got back.
We get stockings every year (even now I am in my 20s). One is knee high and full with shower gel, notebooks, knickers etc. And the other one is square shaped and about 20cm by 20cm but still big enough to cram to the brim with chocolate and sweets (but mainky chocolate because I don’t like sweets that much). Love the Lindt truffles, Turkish delight and Cadburys Crème Egg the most.
I always eat chocolate for breakfast so I cracked open some Lindt truffles and had a banana. But my stomach really started hurting (after last nights excess too) so I decided to go for a run. Also because I wanted some time on my own…
So I went out for 30mins round the streets near where I live. Came back, jumped in the shower and managed to get in the car five minutes before our Church service started.
Found a parking spapce right outside church and we were just in time, thank goodness. They started the service, we sang carols and it was like I was 11 years old again. (Except the babies I used to look after in crèche were now about 7/8 years old).
What also made it feel like I was 11 was that my sister kept on annoying me, seeking attention by saying she had a sore stomach and that she was gonna be sick. I told her to go sit in the toilets, but it can’t have been that bad as she had lots of energy to sigh loudly and try to distract us from singing.
After the service, lots of Hemel people came up to me to say how lovely it was to see me again. It is so nice to think they are all proud of me. Maybe some are wishing they had my ‘glamorous’ life, as they were asking lots of questions about it. I made it sound more sparkly than what it is – if only they knew…
Mum gave us all jobs to do – it really is like being 11 again. Joanna managed to get out of it by saying she had a bad stomach and looking at food made her ill. And then she went in the living room to drink Peartise and Vinto. (Sparkling pear juice is hardly stomach settling). I made the stuffing, brother Ben made some bread sauce and then I wrapped bacon round the chipolatas while Ben laid the table.
Had about an hour til lunch so I just went to bed. A way to escape the family forced fun and Joanna had made us all get up at 745.
At about 130, Joanna’s boyfriend Damian came to the bedroom door and shouted at me in his Northern accent (Doncaster) – ‘LUNCH’. Scary.
Tried to be restrained and piled on one slice of turkey, one chipolata, a few parsnips, a few brussel sprouts and some peas. (There were tragically no roast potatoes as mum bought microwave ones and bought the wrong packet somehow, and ended up serving small cubes of potato with bacon in. Doh!)
Plate looked positively anorexic compared with dad’s and Damiens. Felt slightly smug. Then it was pudding time and I helped myself to Christmas cake with vanilla custard, a bit of cheesecake, a bit of yesterdays banoffee pie, and a few Cadburys chocolate roses. And more custard on top. In the same bowl. I think it was the same size as Dad’s helpings but it was positively delicious. I only felt guilty afterwards when my sister had no pudding and I mentally totted up how many calories I had consumed.
But I only felt guilty for about 10 minutes max, as we had to get the washing up out the way before we open presents. I washed, everyone else dried, and of course there were arguments I wasn’t washing quickly enough..
Present time was fun. I had a ‘singleton’ moment when I realized I had no presents from boys to unwrap or even boys to call while Joanna had presents (a Prada mobile phone) from Damien. Damien even got me some Dior Addict perfume.
Ate some more chocolates – dads fault – he offered me some of his posh Christmas selection.
And kept my bargain with my mum. She said if I didn’t moan then she would give me #200 to buy a laptop. So even when she gave me Bodyshop shower gel, chocolates and make up that was in the January sale the previous year, I smiled and said ‘Wow’. So when we’d opened the presents, mum wrote me a cheque.
Funny moment when I gave my mum some furry gloves. I’d got one pair and managed to cut the finger off the glove when I wrapped it up. For the first minute, I was devastated but remembered I had exactly the same gloves. So I took one of my gloves and one of the new set and wrapped those up. But forgot to check left and right and mum unwrapped two pairs of left hands and I had to tell her my secret. Made everyone laugh at least. I swapped the left hand for a right, so it worked out ok.
Another funny moment was my mum getting the kids chocolate ants, chilli locusts and barbecue worms.Just because it proved how great I am – downed everything in one. And they were actually ok, apart from chocolate ants were a bit salty, strangely.
Sister still irritating – rolling about on the floor claiming she was ill and then getting up to look in the mirror when she got a scarf as a present and jumping up and down. And also, she was well enough to share the family bottle of champagne that I chilled and brought out at Strictly Come Dancing TV time. With all the sparkles and silver costumes, strictly come dancing = treat yourself to champagne.
We also played family games – Blockbuster and Articulate. I’m way too competitive and so is sister’s boyfriend. I won all the time though, can’t help it if I’m clever…
Watched Eastenders Christmas special upstairs because parents watching something else downstairs. Sister and Damien came up to watch it too, but there are no chairs in our room just two single beds pushed together. So it was Damien, Joanna and me in a bed watching Eastenders. It actually felt quite nice and cosy. Who cares I didn’t have a man of my own to snuggle up to?
Well, I did feel a bit lonely so I texted NME guy a vanilla message saying ‘Dr Who was good. How much chocolate have you eaten? My mum made me eat chocolate ants. Christmas fun – hope you’re having a good day.’ Just wanted him to know I was thinking of him. Thought I’d build on the promising sign of last night when he sent me a kiss in a text message again. I put in the subject of Dr Who bit was there coz he told me that’s all he wanted to do on Christmas day.
Didn’t receive anything back for 2 hours and I was starting to think it was all over. In the end I got ‘Not bad thanks. Saving the chocolate to watch the ndark knight on dvd tonight. Other than eating insects, hope you are having a great day.’
NO KISS!
I briefly thought about texting back to say I got the dark knight on dvd too…But knew that would just appear as me desperate to make conversation. Didn’t bother replying. Leave it in his court to send me back a more thrilling message.
I got other messages from boys I dates. Why is it always at Christmas time that boys feel frisky and want whatever they can get?
Text from rich banker I met at Amika saying he wanted to take me ice skating in new year.
Message from Maxim (jogging) boy, saying he wished I was coming back to London earlier so he could rub baby oil over me.
Text from a photographer (40ish) saying he wanted to buy me a present. Then a missed call from him and some requests on facebook
Text from another, younger photographer sayimg he saw me on a TV show that evening – Channel 5’s 100 most shocking celebrity moments of the 21st century – and thought I looked cute
And a lot of messages from Sugababes man (or should that be loser, he’s no man). First text saying ‘hi sexy xx’. Then a voicemail saying ‘Hi, it’s John. Merry Christmas. Hope you’re well. Hope you’re settled with a man, looking forward to a nice Christams. Give me a call back.”
As if I would call him back after he gave the News of The World a Sugababes exclusive without telling me.
Then a text from him saying “hey sexy xxx Don’t be a hater xxx” (Sugababes guy could teach NME man a bit about kisses in text messages)
And finally “Hey sexy xxx happy Christmas xxx still not talking to me? X” Oh my goodness – he was so desperate.
After all those texts, I felt slightly sorry for him as he was clearly spending Christmas alone. And the year before, we had a special experience when he picked me up from my house on Boxing Day, drove me in his blacked out range rover to The Grove hotel (my fave hotel in England, I reckon – five star). We shared a table in the very chrsitmassy, yet still stylish bar, and had a few glasses of champagne. (Even tho he was driving – oops – but he is good at managing booze)
On the way back, he started stroking my leg and we pulled up in a layboy to snog and stroke (nothing more although I was tempted. Just didn’t want to appear too easy). Then he drove me back home. And just a week later gave the first of the Sugababes exclusives to the NOTW (there were TWO exclusives last year which gives me good reason not to speak to him)
Went to bed at about 1130 – the next day we were going to the zoo and I wanted to fit in an hours run first.

Sugababes guy inspired me to think of a new concept - BOY BINGO
Men always come running back. Tick them off as they come back - will I get a full house of every man I have ever been out with come running back?

Weds 24 December – CHRISTMAS EVE
Did the early morning swim, which I was very pleased about. Sister Joanna came to. Was worried we would be competitive in the pool, which would spoil the fun but we did 100 lengths each and got on well.
We were back home about 9am, feeling invigorated.
Mum made the kids do a housework task each – mine was vacuuming the house. Hard job but I timed it well. By doing it in the morning, my bro was asleep so I couldn’t do his room and my mum was wrapping presents in hers. I wasn’t v good at the stairs cos when I took off the handle attachment, the dust blew out the spout. And when I got to kitchen I accidentally hovered over the computer’s internet wire, which stressed out my dad, and he finished off the cleaning.
I weighed myself and despite the exercise I was heavy – about 9st10. Felt depressed so sister and I went shopping to Zavvi, where I hoped to spend my #150 gift voucher. But typical Zoe luck (or lack of it) was that Zavvi went into administration earlier that day so they weren’t honoring vouchers. I had chosen a present for Joanna’s boyfriend Damien, which I had to pay for in cash and felt annoyed about.
Had healthy lunch of ham salad – don’t want to be fatty at work after Christmas.
But had a bit of a treat in afternoon when my sister and I made mince pies, on my mum’s instructions. Mum had bought some ready to roll pastry and the mincemeat went off in sep 2008, so we ha dto use it up. Went well while we were rolling out pastry (I rolled and she filled with mincemeat). But then we couldn’t get lid off second jar. Took 20 mins jumping round kitchen with various oven gloves, tea towels and even knives trying to loosen it. My disability was I don’t have much strength in my arms and I was tired from swimming. Sister’s is she has false nails. Vaguely toyed with idea of going to neighbours house and saying we couldn’t open our jar. But their grand-dad had died suddenly so we weren’t sure if they would see the funny side (or even have energy to help)
I started putting chocolate spread into the pastry cases, but then Joanna flukily managed to open it. I scooped out some of chocolate spread and ate it. We kept one choc spread ‘for experiments sake’ and then had two where we mixed choc spread with mincemeat (even more experimental) and then did regular mincemeat. And they turned out delicious.
Then I was going out that evening with friends from school and maybe Nme man (he’s from my home town) so my sister straightened my hair and did my make-up. Very smokeyes but I had to wash some of it off because I looked like a raccoon on rabies (the black went up to my eyebrows and she stuck on false eyelashes).
My parents had spent the whole afternoon shopping and returned with lots and lots of food for a buffet tea. Smoked salmon, prawn rings, kettle chips, pate, baguette, olives tomatoes and then cookies, donuts, cheesecake, homemade bannoffee pie, homemade Christmas cake, lemon roulade, and my mince pies. I was stuffed. (Mainly with puds – bannoffee pie, cheesecake, roulade, half a cinnamon pastry whirl and a cookie.
It settled my stomach for the pub, where I started with a double vodka and diet coke for the bargainous price of @2.50, as the card machine wasn’t working so the barman said to give him as much cash as I could. (But that made up for the #2 entrance fee we had to pay to get in the pub).
Then NME man bought me a vodka diet coke and my old mate Katie Fenn bought me a jack daniels and diet coke.
That’s right – NME man came! I was hanging with my old school mates, first of all by the dancefloor as it was too busy to sit down. Then we found a table with lots of condiments on (classy – not). Then we found a proper table and 2mins after we sat down, he texted me saying he was on his way. Fate.
I started panicking, as I got impression he wouldn’t like business of pub. And would he get on with my friends etc.
He arrived and actually went to kiss me on the lips. I backed off and he kissed me on the cheek instead. (Cue more panicking – was that a bad signal etc)
I didn’t think about xmas presents for him or anything. Then spent more time with my old schoolfriends than with him. Saw an artist that I promised to help out so I had to chat to him.
Before I knew it, it was time for my sister to pick me up. NME man started saying about how his tradition was to go out on Christmas eve until 4am. (More panicking – am I too boring etc)
Offered him a lift and although he declined, he walked out with me and my mate Darren. Darren got in my sisters car and he gave me a brief peck on the lips. I said I wanted a better one and pulled him in for another kiss on the lips. But it was just a peck. And that was it.
Cursed myself on the way home – was this the end of our brief flirtation?
And then he texted me saying #2 to hear karaoke? Bargain. And it was good to see you x have a great Christmas.
There was a kiss x in the message. Maybe there was still a chance if I wanted it.

Tuesday 23 December
Writing this playing scrabble with my mum. It has been a really relaxing day. Which means I have come down with a cold because the adrenalin has gone.
But when I’m relaxed, I achieve a lot.
I’m happy about
(1) Swimming 100 lengths in 70mins very early in morning at 715-830am. Last night my sister Jo did 70, so I had to do more. I did 60 crawl as a warm up, then 20 breast stroke and another 20 crawl.

(2) Catching up on this blog which I didn’t do when I was in Australia.

(3) Sorting through DVDs e! entertainment sent me, claiming I am on it. Each one is 50mins long and you cant really fast forward it that much. Disappointing, but the job has to be done.

(4) texting and phoning people I had lost touch with to apologise and say I’d be better in 2009

(5) Having lunch with the siblings at pizza exress. I got #30 in vouchers in a goody bag in London, so thought it would be nice to do family bonding. Hardly ever go out with bro. But he has a part time job at Asda while hes back from uni so nobody could do nights. So we had to do lunch and eat a massive pizza and banoffee pie / ice cream.
I like pudding lots so I only had pizza. My sister shouted at me, said I made her feel bad. Our family has such food issues

(6) Did the dreaded specsavers trip. I waited so long for the till, I just went round the shop and started trying on glasses. Found a pair I liked, turned round and saw a guy from my maths and further maths class. He studied engineering at loughborough uni, I did maths at Bristol. He asked what I was doing now, expecting me to say something borimng. Couldn’t believe it when I said I was a journalist. Seemed impressed. I played it down, (don’t want to brag) but secretly proud. After uni, he went to bible college for a few years and is now an assistant at specsavers – not that good. I don’t understand why people settle for a life like that.
(7) Bought myself the complete box set of Peep Show for #15. And even better, I didn’t spend 15 of real money as I had a voucher from zavvi for Christmas
(8) Went to primark and bought myself some new shoes, jewellery and jogging bottoms to lounge around the house in (expect to be doing lots over Christmas). I gave the jewellery and shoes to my sister to wrap up for Christmas. Instead of spending 10 quid on a rubbish present for me, if I chose my own then I make the most of the tenner and get exactly what I want.
(9) Then got myself some fake hair at Peacocks as the family are having a professional portrait session and new fake hair always makes me look pretty.
(10) Walked back from the town – bit of fresh air

(11) Didn’t go too overboard at tea time (after the lunchtime pizza fest). Had a bit more pizza, some smoked salmon and salad and then Christmas Cake and some pick’n/mix bits. That is VERY restrained considering how much food is in the house

Oh, and I called Ashley who came round yesterday and he seemed to think Wale liked me. Or that’s what he said. But he also said Wale wants to do some big coffee table style manual, which Ashley and I both need to discourage him from. (It wont sell). Ashley says he is confident we can make something work. I am confident too because we cannot waste Wale’s contacts and lifestory. We have to make the most of his meetings with the Beckhams etc. Do it for Wale to make him more famous and get better clients and do it for me so I can quit my depressing day job at the newspaper.

Now Im going to bed early – hope to be asleep by 1030pm and up at 645 tomorrow for more swimming.

Monday 22 December
Had to wake-up at 8am to get a doctors appointment for a repeat prescription of pill (annoying as quite sleep deprived). Managed to get one for 1135, which was good as it meant I had time to pack for going home that afternoon, go to the doctors, go the gym (to work off the mince pies) and then get back to hemel Hempstead at a reasonable time.
All went according to plan until I got to Euston. I got on a train, but it said that train was delayed so I got off and got on another. STUPID MISTAKE. The other train ended up pulling out first and I spent a total of 90mins making my way from Euston to Hemel when the journey normally takes 30mins
Dad very kindly picked me up at the train station and helped put my luggage in the car. After an afternoon of carrying it (with all presents and my laptop), my muscles were shaking.
By the time we walked in the door it was 515pm. And I walked into the door to an amazing smell – my sister had made gingerbread men and peanut butter cookies and decorated with smarties and white chocolate buttons.
I got out a couple of plates and added some home made mince pies that I had made in London and managed to transport back. And the best news was that a Christams Cake that I had bought from best mate F.s brother, who is a chef, had got back in one piece.
Ate rather a lot and then had to get tarted up because fashion designer Wale Adeyemi was coming round my house. He’s dressed Vic Beckham, Alicia Keyes, Mos Def, Beyonce and more
I might be writing his autobiography….
He came to my house with his agent because they want to get the deal done soon.
Im not sure if he liked me or not, but at least we met each other
And I learned how to sell myself in a meeting. Next time, I should come prepared with evidence to show how great I am.

Sunday 21 December
I was meant to see NME man last night. He invited me to the dancing bit of his mate’s wedding. But I felt absolutely toxic after boozing and getting to bed at 3am for four days running. And I was made to stay late in the office because I am having Christmas week off (hurrah)
So Sunday started quite healthy. I went out for an hours run and did a bit of interval training with it.
Came back. Went to Asda. Had a healthy breakfast of fruit and jelly (I just fancied it more than yoghurt).
Made some mince pies to take back to parents over Xmas. People rang me to say my column was good – they’d be shocked if they knew I was making mice pies.
Got most of my housework done and went to Lidl to buy Christmas treats for my dad and mum, (and bought self a bottle of champagne coz it was only 9.99)
Had a sweet potato with beans and salad for tea, with healthy pudding of fruit and yoghurt. Still hungry afterwards, or craved chocolate, but have to be good before Christmas.
Spent the evening transferring songs to my Itunes and swapping phone numbers from an old phone into a new one.
And at 9pm NME man rings and says hes free. I invite him round for a couple of hours.
But as I was hungry and quite nervous about him coming round, I went to the fridge and finished off the tin of beans and a plum. And then we had mince pies together when he came round.
But I knew I would burn it off. We had two hours of wild fun.
I actually paid for his taxi home, which he felt guilty about, but I can claim on expenses and 25.20 is a lot of money for him as he cant claim it back.
We had a bit of dilemma finding the taxi, involving me having to go out on the streets of the old kent road in my dressing gown, but he got into the cab about midnight. And at 1214 he texted me a simple message – X! He KISSED me.
I was so excited, I immediately texted back XX. Now kicking myself for appearing too eager.

Mid-December
The first time I stay round his...I like him more than ever.
But it is hard finding time to see him. I was meant to meet him at a Kaiser Chiefs gig at the Apple store on Regent St but my editors sent me to a strictly come dancing party. The party was quite fun, but I felt sick thinking of standing him up.
So about 11pm, I dashed in a cab from my party in Chelsea to meet him in central London. We met by the tube and he asked me ' where do you wanna go'? As it was about 1130, and we both had work the next day (it was a tuesday night), I suggested going back to his.
His face lit up. We took the tube to shepherds bush and passed a newsagents to get roll-ups.
It felt so relaxed to drink JD out the bottle while he rolled a cigarette and we smoked it out the window.
After a heavenly night, it was still relaxed. He was playing his guitar after I got out the shower. We walked to the tube together.
The only bad thing was my hangover. Jack Daniels mixed with the champagne at the dancing party mixed with the cigarette was not a good idea.
As I said goodbye at my tube stop, I gave him a peck on cheek and said see you soon. Then I realised it might not be that soon as I had a busy few weeks coming up.
I didnt end up seeing him for seven days and then it was only a lunch meeting.
But fortunately we had a repeat of that night before I went back to my parents for Christmas.

Early December
Keep getting emails from one of the NME people I met at the birthday party. Its ba flirtatious email. So clearly my NME man hasnt told his mates about me at all.
I'm hurt....

Sometime in November
NME man and I arrange to meet on a Friday night. It had been a hellish day in the office and I was ready to party.
We decided to go to his mates birthday in Camden. Lots of NME people were there and I had to be on my best behaviour. But thought I did a good job of chatting up some shy men (they all seem to be shy!)
I was starving so I suggested getting food. NME man happt to leave but in the street he kissed me and asked if I really wanted food. Actually I did, but I liked the kisses...
We ended up getting a cab back to mine and it was the first time he stayed over. Shame I had work the next day...I left him in bed for a lay-in. He supports QPR (!) and they had a game in Crystal Palace, so he planned to go straight from my house. So cosy!

Sometime in November. I dont know the exact date because I am not doing a v good job of re-capping with NME guy. Hes been keeping me busy (hurrah). But I have been keeping a current diary, which is saved in a file in my laptop. Im going to post it all at once.

After Australia, I make a date with NME guy telling him he MUST check out my tan.
We arrange to meet in an old man's pub in Soho. Thats ok - I like going to new places and spend way too much time hanging out in poncey bars with celebs.
NME man and I get the drinks in and are getting on really well. He approves of my tan (and the sexy white dress I am wearing to show it off).
Then someone shouts my name from across the bar. It is Maxim man - the one I met while running in the park. He texted me a few times when I was in Australia and I kept the flirtation going, never telling him about NME man.
So I made some wave and then completely ignored him. What else can I do. NME man was hotter.
I get up and go to the toilet and then discover someone else from Maxim, who I had a brief flirtation with in Ibiza. So I employed the same tactics - ignore and run.
I told NME man we had to leave and also that I was hungry. So we went to a pub near great portland st tube and got nachos.
We kissed by the tube and arranged to meet again - it was a good night with him.
On the way home, I texted Maxim guy (just in case). Told him, I was free if he wanted to come over. Only because I knew he wouldnt that night but it was good to have my options open for another night