A single girl in a showbiz world

Wednesday 4 Feburary
Got up at 645 and made it to the gym. Did a super fast, sweaty 30mins on treadmill to get the blood flowing. It may have got my blood flowing abit too fast as I lost my temper with a fitness instructor.
Somebody came up to me to talk about persona training (bescially trying to sell me personal training) and I lost it and told him to leave me alone. BUT he woud me up, he was like "I'm adam, whats your name' - what a lame speech. I said i didnt want to tell him my name.
What really annoyed me was he caught up with me later in my session, saying i was rude and then saying his pitch again. Soooo annoying.
Anyway, apart from that everything has gone super smothly.
I managwed to get my high heels re-heeled before work, got some breakfast, read the papers, thought about stories
AND then told my editor I wanted to resign.
My ego is hurt becuase she didnt beg me to stay or anything.
But I dont care if it means I can leave. (With a pay-off)
The ball is in the editor's court...

Tuesday 3 February
Woke up with a massive headache, (combo of choc and resignation stress). So downed some nurofen and complemented them with a ryvita (figured it may help the blood sugar) and set off for the gym.
Thankfully it was opened as i needed one hour to myself before the big R.
Afterwards, i showered and changed and put on a power dress - black dress, snakeskin belt and super tall snakeskin heels with minxy ear-earings.
And as I was walking in, I got the bombshell. We didnt need to be in the office because of the snow.
Obviously I was near the office because my gym is near the office so I turned up.
I vaguely hoped the overall editor would still make it in and I could hand in my R. The editor wasnt...
Got brownie points and looked super keen for coming in (although that want my intention)
I didnt even do that much work. I made it look like i did by appearing super keen to get a line on Lily Allen.
But really i was sorting out a free dress for the BAFTAs and make-up session and hair-cut. And organising the BBC presenter Tom Deacon's birthday. And eating free chocolates sent to the travel desk for a feature they were writing.
In my defense I had a healthy lunch of salad and rice from the sushi place, but I ruined it in the evening.
I promised Firgas id make her a chocolate cake as a belated birthday present and the plan was to make LOTS yesterday and share them between her and the BBC presenter. But I didntmake enough...
So I went to Tesco and bought a bog standard sponge for 83p and some cooks chocolate. When I got home I melted the choc (and licked the bowl lots) and iced the cake to make it look home made. I even lifted up the two halves with a spatula and stuck some of my own icing in the middle.
I was meant to meet the fasion designer that evening, but he cancelled again, so i gave myself time off. Got a mini 200ml bottle of wine and decided to TREAT myself with smoked salmon and salad. And then I had one of the gingerbread hearts plus a cupcake that I didnt give the BBC guy. Bliss but I felt quite piggy!
Watched another pisode of Jonathan Creek and got to bed at about 10pm, setting my alarm for 645am so i could get to the gym in the morning and burn off more chocolate bingeing!
Two things to do tomorrow
(1) Eat less chocolate (v important)
(2) Hand in resignation (also quite important)
And if i was to find a hot man, preferably rich, that'd be good too.

Monday 2 February
I couldnt do anything today - by the time I woke up at 730am lots more snow had fallen (about 6inches) and running was impossible.
But instead of going back to bed, I had some cornflakes (I didnt need the carbs for running but it was cold) And then started work.
First on my to do list was thinking about resigning. My paper said voluntary redunancy might be an option, so I wrote down a little speech.
Then I did some laundry and hoovering and tidied my bathroom.
I got my swimming stuff ready and ploughed through the snow in my UGG boots to the local swimmimg pool. (Need to do some exercise with marathon training)
THE pool was closed an i was so angry. Walking to the pool was a bit of exercise, but I needed more. So i walked a bit further to Primark. Fighting the crowds in Primark is heartbeat-racing stuff. Ended up with 2 nice belts, a dress and a pink and silver checked jacket and it was only £28. I LOVE primark.
Battled my way back home, had a healthy lunch of fish and vegetables 9athough followed with something chocolatey for pudding) and then did some work on my own book - more research stuff about finding my own voice / synopsis.
Was vaguely in touch with Firgas - we were meant to go to a spa for a pamper party at 5pm but the event got cancelled. The therapists couldnt make it in because of the snow. Madness!
F told me she was on the roof of her office thrwoing snowballs at the nearby office where her ex boyfriend works, and it was making her feel a lot better. I would love to do the same but I think I am scared of going anywhere near my ex-boyfriends places in case they see me and we have to make small talk. I am not in touch with any of my ex's, especially the one I have a restraining order against.
But talking of men - nme man emailed saying it has been ages and he misses me. (Amazing but no kiss in the email)
We had a brief conversation about work and tv appearances but I left the conversation mid-way to make some cakes for the BBC show I do, as it was the presenters birthday. I did mean to email back NME man but I completely forgot (I think that is a good sign - shows i am getting over him)
The cakes were delcious but i ate some of the mixture as i was making it. Then I had to try one after to make sure it was ok.
Spent a hellish 30mins in a queue at asda for icing because no check out people were working because of the snow. And the only way i could find coloured cake icing was in a packet of decorate yourself gingerbread hearts. After i made the icing (and licked a bit of the bowl) I had a gingerbread heart with some chocolate icing and then had some salt and vinegar popcorn to get rid of the sugar rush. (didnt work)
Got back to my computer again to email the BBC some ideas for the TV show tomorrow and then called my mum to rehearse my resignantion speech. My poor mum - she thinks i am cracking up. (Which i probably am)
Went to bed feeling very hyperactive from all the choclate with my resignation speech echoing around my head.

Sunday 1 February
Got organised today as the stupid fashion designer whose book I am helping to write couldnt meet me. Its so his loss!
Started the day with a long lie-in - much needed. Got up about 11am, went for an hours run around the park and then got back and bought the papers and a big box of Kellogs Cornflakes. With all the running, I have to keep the carbs up!
After my breakfast / lunch of cornflakes and fruit, my mission was to spend three hours writing my own stuff. And I did it.
Started by researching creative writing courses coz i need some writing confidence.
Then i had a break and ended up going to tesco to buy some rice krispie cakes (its still carns, I'm allowed)
Finished course resarch and then opened up lots of my favourite boks to 'find my voice'. Read through and discarded lots and am now pretty sure that i will write my fiction project first person present tense to keep it 'pacey'.
Had a healthy tea of fish and salad and ate it as snow started falling over London. Read the magazine supplements of the paper as I was eating, listening to the chart show on the radio. Bliss!
Then I chilled out even more by watching an episode of Jonathan Creek on UKTV Gold. That lasted one hour and 20mins, in which I sat down and did nothing. Havent done THAT for ages.
And then I was in bed about 10pm as planned to brave the elements and get up at 730 am the next morning for a RUN. Bring on the marathon....

Saturday 31 January
The sick-days can't last forever, so I made it in to do my column. Got sympathy because I went in without make-up in ugly clothes (normally I dress 'showbiz glamour')
I also didnt eat anything until lunchtime and that is rare for me because I am normally snacking ALL day on a Saturday because of the column deadline stress.
Saw I had lots of emails while I was away. One from NME MAN!! Inviting me to meet his friends on Saturday night. OMG! Meeting friends means he must like me a bit. I had one ex who was too embarrassed to let me meet his mates (loser), and every time I met up with the ex it was just the two of us.
But I decided to decline the NME mans invite because I still wasn't feeling properly healthy and I needed another night without alcohol after Thursday nights champagne quaffing!
Also, I need to spend this weekend working on my job exit strategy because I cant stand giving my life to the paper any more.
So the eds were nice to me in the morning, when I was pale and weak and not eating. But I went downstairs for a sandwich and a chocolate bar and thats when I lost integrity. I got my column written ok, but gradually I think colour must have come back into my face. When Ii asked the deputy editor if I could leave coz i was feeling sick, he shouted at me. How horrible!! (That just inspires me to work even harder on an exit strategy).
I seriously think it had something to do with the bitch that sits opposite me who is friends with all the editors coz she buys their drugs. She had a sickness bug where she couldnt eat, so she must have told the editors i wasnt sick coz i was eating. She should mind her own business!!
Called my mum and told her how rude my editor was. She suggested going in to the office and putting my head on the desk until they felt sorry for me.
She passed the phone to my sister, who told me she had just bought a 380quid Dolce and Gabbana handbag from Bicester dicount shopping village. I was like, yeah - whats the real price? But apparently it was down from 700plus quid! She wanted to but it coz she still had 200 quid left over from Xmas. And I have to spend my 200 quid on a laptop to do job exit strategy on (how depressing). But thats why I have a job and she has a boyfriend...
Finally left the office at 630 - thats just an hour earlier than when we normally leave on a Saturday if we're not on the 11pm late shift. But saying that, it did make a difference as it meant I was home by 730 when i usually get home at 830 on a saturday. Getting home at 830 on saturday is so depressing as it feels like my evening is over.
Anyway, got home and had some nice prawns and noodles from M&S followed by some peaches and plums covered in melted white chocolate. Delicious! Snacked on a few yoghurt coated raisins from the sushi place too (its nice to sit at home and chill with some snack items)
Watched some Jonathan Creek on UKTV Gold and did some reading of magazines while MTV Base was in the background (love the R and
And then tried to organise the fashion designer whose book I was going to write because he has cancelled our meeting tomorrow. So stupid - I was sacrificing a lot for him and now I dont want to. If we dont rearrange the meeting, Im going to spend the time on my own book. After all, I havent told any publishers or agents about it and I have told the agents about my own.
Men-wise, apart from NME contact, I facebooked CJ (Nick Jones's nephew). Added him as a friend and he added me back. Ball's in his court now to ask me out - men like to feel they are wanted, according to The Rules. But i might kick him into doing it soon by writing on a mutual friend's wall - we have two facebook friends in common. Good start.

Friday 30 January
I called in sick today, which is something I rarely do. I have only done it once since I started my current job two years ago and NEVER did it in any previous jobs!
I was so nervous about doing it, it wasnt relaxing at all. I woke up at 8, worrying how to do it.
Started off by texting the news editor, and then kept checking my phone every 5 mins t see if he replied. That went on for almost an hour before I decided to bite the bullet and ring up the newsdesk secretary. She was lovely about it. Then i texted the showbiz editor and by that time it was 1030am so I wasnt sure whether to get up or not. In the end, I set my alarm for another hour (1130) and had some more kip.
Had a banana and then ran to the gym, did nearly an hours workout and ran home (about 1hr 15mins in total)
Had a healthy lunch but then it wasnt a very relaxing sick day as I decided to get some stories for my job and also to do some admin (like booking a birthday party for the BBC presenter Tom Deacon)
Took a break in the afternoon to treat myself to some new running gear (may as well make the most of my day off).
But then when I got home I did half an hours more work and then had a healthy tea.
Did some more work, and watched Eastenders but by this time I was in the mood to treat myself on my day off. Was very indulgent and went to Asda across the road to buy some Fondant Fancy cakes - ate three (oops). But dont regret it at all because they were DELICIOUS.
Eventually got my work done at midnight. Was a bit pissed off I had worked all day like usual but the morning lie in and sleep (even if it was just an hour after the sick day faffing) made me feel more human. And no alcohol either...

Thursday 29 January
I couldnt sleep at all, beating myself up about not geting lily's brother last night. So by the time I got in the office, I was an emotional wreck. My brain doesnt work when I dont sleep.
When I explained the nights happenings to the news editor, my voice cracked with emotion. So after going through the motions of doing work, he let me leave at midday. I felt FREE!
I went to the posh sushi place by my office and bought some healthy salmon and tuna for later that day. And then went home to sleep...
However, sleeping in the afternoon is not easy. I only managed an hour before my brain got active again. I started thinking about parties I had to attend that evening. And worked on my home computer to find out where they all were and who was going.
Managed to get an hours work done on the fashion designers book before meeting F and her business partner Lu to head to parties.
The first one was rubbish - we only went so F could get revenge on an ex boyfriend. Which she doesnt need to demean herself doing, to be honest.
But i managed to persuade her to leave after about 45 mins, and we went to a posh party in the penthouse f The Westbury hotel in Mayfair.
I cahtted to the operations manager of the hotel, the vents planner as well as the manager of Prada on bond street. ThenI met the nephew of Londons members club king Nick Jones and had a bit of champagne and a few canapes.
Picked up a goody bag containing posh charbonnard and walker chocs so went down to the hotel bar for moere champagne and canapes and started eating the chocs. UIt was divine.
We shared a bottle of champagne but then the operatuions manager sent us anotyher glass each. I was well tiddly.
We put the world to rights - three girls chatting over champagne and chocs on London's best designer shopping street. This is the life!
Why oh why cant i have more moments like this? Most of my time is spent WORKING. Moments like this make me wonder what is the point. Happiness is possible - I need to treat myself to it more often.
Oh and maybe i stil hjave it with men. Ed, the a and r man texted. But i think it was work related as he just asked ' how you feeling' and never replied to the one i sent back. And no kisses...
BUT the young nephew of Nick Jones was proper keen on me, trying to ask me out for dinner that night and saying i should facebook him. He really is a bit too young for me, but he;s rich enough. Even tho he has the blonde public school hair going on, and his mate had a coat with a real fur collar, i can change his public school preppy look if he gives me his credit card!

Weds 28 February
Today I woke up at 6am and fell into bed about 3am and spent all of those 21 hours WORKING!! My brain is scrambled.
At 6am I started work on my column for Who's Jack magazine. I love doing it because it is creative freedom rather than the stupid newspaper I work for. But I always think long and hard about what I am going to write because I only get one column a month and I am FULL of creative juices that have been locked away inside me while I conform to the stupid newspaper I work at.
Anyway, I got it done before lunchtime when I went to meet a contact for lunch in town.
Before that I even managed to file a few newspaper stories so they thought i was working...
After lunch I met up with the newspaper website team, who want me to work on that. I think that was one of the best parts of my day as I love internet stuff.
Did a tiny bit more work planning what events i was going to work at that eveing. (Lily Allen's gig at KOKO in Camden0
Left the office at 4pm to get to the BBC to film the TV show I normally do ion Mondays. That was another higlight of my day as they are actually nice to me.
Then I went shoping to find a col outfit to wear to the gig. While I was in the shopping mall, I saw a tesco and decided to get champagne to perk me up (I was feeling so low)
Drank the champagne (a half bottle) as i was getting ready and jumped in a txi to Camden. Met a colleague, who was wroking with me, grabbed our after-party bands and watched the gig trying to avoid all the daily newspaper journalist leeches.
ried to find a cab to after party but couldnt so had to walk to tube and 10 mins after tube in the rain.
Made it to the after party to see lots of daily leeches so whatever story we got would not have saved until weekend.
And then we had a vague moment of high when we saw Lily Allen's bro do something he shouldnt have done in the venue's toilets. My colleague had a video bag -it could have been front page stuff.
But the stupid girl - a trainee - said she didnt feel comfortable doing it. I am too well known so couldnt do it myself. And we wasted the opportunity.
By the time we stopped faffing around it was 2am! Then she started apologising and I just wanted to get a taxi booked, which I did, and then had to travel home.
Did meet onecute man - ed, who is an a and r man. He is well gorgeous and intelligent (he went to oxford) and came up to talk to me at the party. Sadly he did it when i was mid lily allen/ lily's bro chase so I wasnt concentrating. But he was gorgeous and nice and it makes me wonder if he is a 'potential'...NME man has been well quiet recently

Tuesday 27 January
A girl cant go through life alone (even me) so I reached out to ask for help with work today. I did something v brave - gave a speech at city university's journalism school.
I am fed up with the people I see out and about that try to give me stories. I dont trust any of them so it was time for me to find fresh blood.
So I went to City University and was faced with a room full of keen students (thank god people turned up!)
I started off by bribing people with chocolate. And then i goofed my way through a speech that I had rehearsed, (In retrospect I should have talked openly and freely like the editor of Whos Jack magazine because she came across much more naturally)
Thats a note for future public speaking - RELAX!
But I got through the talk and signed up lots of students. No fit ones - which I was secretly hoping for - but at least we can keep it professional.
Health (and training-wise) the day started good and ended good. I went for a swim in the morning - 80 lengths. But then I had cod and chips and peas for lunch and a chocolate cake mid afternoon. Righted it in evening when I went to an awards ceremony reception and resisted all champagne and canpaes and had two nectarines and low calorie jelly when I got home.
I always feel more positive and more energetic when I dont drink.
Awards ceremony was a bit of a washout but I made a few contacts. The organisers promise the earth and then when you get there the only person is Vanessa Feltz. Across town, someone told me Paris Hilton was 'expected' at a party. Surprise surprise she didnt show up. But I made contacts because I dont give up. Lots of other journalists hang out with each other and only talk to each other and the odd celeb. I NEVER talk to other journalists, just go round room making as many contacts as poss. The other journalists hate me - they are so jealous.
I'm hot and Im going to find a hot man or contacts that can introduce me to a hot man and they are going to be boring, fat and borderline alcoholics. Losers!
Gonna tell my new keen students never to talk to journlaists either. Good networking = Good gossip

NMonday 26 January
I went through most of the day without talking to ANYONE at all. And as a result I feel much calmer. I think I give myself to others too easily. I'm always trying to please. It's DRAINING!

The bad bits of the day were when people texted me on work related matters. Everyone works on Mondays and they call me chasing payment, expecting me to be on it. I wish I had a mobile that could screen my calls into work andnon-work because it is so depressing when I have to think about work on Mondays when I only get out the office at 11pm on Saturday night

But the day was mostly great. Slept til about 9am and then got up for my 12 mile run. Felt so healthy after! Had a healthy lunch of tuna and salad( and kept up the good work at supper time with an egg salad)

Ventured out the house in the afternoon to elephant and castle to get some hair extensions. It was so un-glam - i Loved it. Put on a hoody and UGG boots and had a browse of clothes in the ghetto and got the bus back home.

In the evning watched paul mckenna i can make you thin on tv. He said to avoid cravings i should think of something disgusting mixed with my favourite fod and squeeze my thumb and middle finger together, Then every time i feel like chocolate (my fave food) squeeze the middle finger together.

Hope it works - need something to keep me on marathon schedule!